about

advice

ok so first off i'm an 18 year old guy. i've been in a relationship with my dream girl for now 7 1/2 months. she's 17. she's the first girlfriend that i've ever had. before me she dated a guy for 7 months, they broke up about a year and a 1/2 ago, but that was pretty much it for her. we're both deeply in love with each other. before her i was depressed and miserable but she changed all that and since we've been together i'm happier than i ever could've imagined. i know that she's really happy with me too. so basically we can't get enough of each other. something that has really been getting to me lately is the issue of sex. in 7 1/2 months we haven't done anything sexual at all, no blowjobs, no handjobs or anything like that. i kind of thought that was a good thing for the first couple months because we were able to make something great together without sex or anything but lately it's been getting to me. i'm really sexually attracted to her and it's just driving me crazy. i know that she's strongly attracted to me too, she's said so and i'm exactly her type. we've both sent each other alot of nude pictures and there was no big deal about it. i feel completely comfortable sending them to her and she feels the same. we do touch each other alot, not sexually however. for example, sometimes we'll just lay on her bed for 4 hours snuggling up with each other really tight just talking about how much we love each other and stuff. we have this thing where we tickle each other alot. we tickle bare skin like the stomach, back, and she likes tickling my "man boobs". she also likes giving me wedgies. she's jokingly admitted that the whole wedgy thing is just an excuse to touch my ass. lately all that touching stuff has intensified. i get the feeling that i really need to do something. i know that alot of the time sex is bad for young couples but its been 7 1/2 months and we've made such a solid foundation already without it. i don't really want to go into like real sex until maybe prom night, which is in 2 months. i want our first time to be special and romantic. i do want to do some of the other stuff though. i want to go down on her so badly because i feel like she deserves it and i want to make her feel good. i don't even want a blowjob or anything else all that badly because i just want to make her feel good. she has told me that her ex went down on her while they were dating but she never had sex with him, she's still a virgin like me. it's embarassing to say but i know how to do all of the stuff because i looked it up online. there are alot of times when we have the opportunity to do stuff, both our parents work alot. i really don't know how to even get into that situation. people have said to just kind of "explore" while we're making out and go from there. i'm kind of an awkward kid and i'm somewhat unconfident and very scared of failure even though i've gotten all the info i need from websites and friends, both male and female. so if anyone could help me out i would much appreciate it. i know i probably sound weird but i'm just really confused about the whole thing.

female. teen :)
I've been with my boyfriend for one year and a few months and I have to say at around the eight month mark, the most we had really done was take our tops off, and then not even everything for me. It was kind of frustrating because we had something so good without sexual activity but at the same time I could have related to how you are feeling now: we had never actually touched each other in that way. I had no idea hwo to go about it even though I'd told my boyfriend I was okay with the concept of it all, mainly because I didn't know whether he'd like it or not or anything! I had no experience. Foreplay is soemthing that most girls are completely clueless at to start with unless they've done things with a previous partner and then even if they have, they find it hard to muster the courage to do it that spontaneously unless they have a HORRIFICALLY brave moment.

It's okay to feel frustrated in this way. :)

So anyway, me and my boyfriend were stuck because we both kind of wanted to - it just didn't happen. I personally think it's because he suggested it too much and I thought about him suggesting it too much - but in the end he solved it by taking initiative. I'm sorry to say, but alot of the time guys need to take initiative in relationships because girls are a bit grey in that area. We played the dare game. Juvenile as it was the basic idea was obviously to dare each other to take items of clothing off and whatnot, and finally set a deadline as to when the game would finish and the game would be won by someone should they postpone doing the dare (e.g. - like you say, let me go down on you?' - I didn't let him do that until about two months ago, that's mainly because he was my first boyfriend and I'm very self conscious, whereas your girlfriend seems much more open from what you've said). Obviously no one wants to lose a game as trivial as the dare game!!

My suggestion isn't that you should get a spin the bottle set out and challenge your girlfriend, but you need to see it as a challenge. Not the kind of challenge you see it as now, like an obstacle to be made to get out of the way, but as something that should be embraced and had fun with. Yesh? :) That means you can do it any way whatsoever.

It doesn't hurt to take initiative and suggest it either. The worst thing she could say is no, and with girls that's probably because she starts to feel nervous or thinks that you might be disappointed in some way. Even if she says no, at a later date try again. Every time she's going to be more accepting of it. She might even accept it first time! Either way, me and my boyfriend got to where we are now (that covers everything) by making it fun, a challenge. Taking it in turns. Him, especially, being persistent.

It'll be fine - just remember, nothing is going to happen unless one of you makes a move. And neither of you can presume it'll be the other, so you have to try yourself. Who knows, she might be thinking that right now! She probably wants you on another level just as much as you want to move to another level.

Hope I helped
And MUCH good luck :)
x

[view]

(Rating: 5) thanks so much. i can tell that u really took the time to help me out. so thanks again.
<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
eXTReMe Tracker