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February 19, 2008Answers:
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Welcome to REALIFEADVICE, thank you for visiting my column, pleas feel free to email or leave feed back....REALIFEADVICE@COLUMNIST.COM
Look forward to talking soon,
Chandler XX
advice
Never in my life will I do this again.
I'm making a very long story short.
-i needed a ride home from a party
-friend said he could and wanted to hang out anyways
-got n car @ 2am. Said I had 2 b home at 230
-we didn't kno where to go... drove around to big houses n hills
-i said to turn around. He finally did.
>turned off engine.
>grabbed me ( you know when u watch movies and the girl gets raped? Well I always think, 'o why doesn't she jus play it off so he doesn't get mad?' well I did!) tried to kiss me I kissed him back after saying no.
>shoved my hand on his thing through his pants.
>shoved his hand on my private part.
[This still occured even though I kept saying NO. He kept saying ITS OK.]
>finally stopped n kept drivin
-drives a different way to this place to view the city.
-pulls over.
>grabs me across his lap, puts his tonge down my throat.
>tried to get up. He pulled me back down. And tried to kiss me again. I finally got up & said we gotta go home!
-on ride home we act like nothing happened.
-drops me off. Done.
I don't know if I should tell him how I feel? Ignore it? Act like it never happend?
I never want to see him again. But I have to because we go to the same school.
I'm not that type of girl AT all. I'm a virgin, but most people don't think so. Maybe he didn't? I can't believe he thought I would do that. I can't believe he did that to me.
Hi,
With all due respect I think you maybe quite naive. You said no but you proactively participated and if you didn't want what was happening to happen you should have made that quite clear. I don't think this boy thought for one moment you didn't want this to happen.
In future I would suggest if a situation occurs you're not happy with you say so from the very start, don't then say one thing and do another or give mixed singles.
If you don't feel you can just let this go talk to him about how you are feeling and make clear that you don't want that to happen again, but I do think if your going to get in guys cars at 2am you should first understand how the world works. (By that I do not mean anyone has the right to do anything to you to which you have not consented - but to be fare by your actions you did consent to what was happening)
Chandler
(Rating: 3) Naive, no. I took this as a learning experience. The best way to learn anything is by experiencing it first hand. I talked to my school counselor today and I'm doing well. The reason I kissed him back was because I was SCARED and didn't know what to do. I learned A LOT. 2am with a friend. Someone I laughed with a lot & trusted & knew very well. His words were to hang out. That's all I agreed to. I said NO in the beginning, middle, and end. Never again will I do that.