Gender: Male
Member Since: November 18, 2007
Answers: 170
Last Update: February 13, 2014
Visitors: 12615
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20/f My little sister died eight months ago and all but one of my friends in college completely failed me. They continued to spend most of our time together talking about and doing things I couldn't participate in. They often played violent video games when I was in the room even though I told them how much it bothered me (and they weren't playing when I eneterd the room). They even criticized how I was grieving and got mad at me for being a killjoy. I have spoken with them over a dozen times about how their behavior often excludes me or just makes me feel worse. I know it's selfish, but I wanted to be the center of attention for a little while, while I healed from my tragic loss- but they refuse.
I am moving away soon, and would really like to forget most of them and never return. Only, two of them are getting married soon and I have been asked to be a bridesmaid. The only other bridesmaid is the bride's 17y/o sister who has no money and is very irresponsible. I would pretty much be on my own for planning the bridal shower and bachelorette party and I would be doing it from far away. This would take a lot of time, energy and money. I really don't feel like putting in any work for her- but I still would like to attend the wedding as I've never been to one and would like to see the one friend who went above and beyond to support me during my time of need.
I'm not normally this selfish. But the bride-to-be has treated me awfully. At this point I don't even care about her. She's getting married because she was pregnant (miscarried though, after knowing about the child for two weeks). She's only dated this guy for six months. And she's annoying and stupid. She doesn't know how much I dislike her because I see no point in intentionally hurting her.
Should I suck it up and help her anyway? Is there a polite way to refuse being a bridesmaid, but still be invited to the wedding? Or should I not go since my only motives are selfish? (link)
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You can always see the one really good friend. Since the Bride was so awful, I'd probably be petty about things. With what you have been through, I'd probably agree to be in the wedding and not fulfill any of the obligations. I see no reason why you should have to make her day wonderful. I think the opposite is in order. Ler her have her bachelorette party in a wal mart parking lot for goodness sakes. lol Seriously, weddings will come. You'll just be bitter through all of this. You're better off not getting involved.
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Rating: 5
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Thanks. You really made me laugh with the Wal-Mart comment. I was afraid all the advice to do what I really didn't want to.
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