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17/f. Last December I lost my virginity to my best guy friend. Let's call him Jake. (He wasn't a virgin, fyi, but he knows I was). Ever since then I've been so strongly attached to him. I don't have a crush on him, which is good cuz he now has a g/f he loves very much, and I'm currently crazy about this other boy. But everytime I think about Jake I get this sense of almost overwhelming care and compassion. I would jump in front of a bullet for him and I value his opinion more than anyone's.

He and I argue and bicker a lot, but I always end up forgiving him, whether or not I know I'm right. He pisses me off probably more than anyone I know, but he also makes me smile more than anyone, too.

When I think about it in a romantic sense, I'm not attracted to him that way. My caring seems to go beyond that. Is this because he's the first (and only, so far) guy that I've slept with?

I'm just confused.

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