About jimmyandLou
Jimmy and Lou, here to help you! We can help you with all of your questions. We are both especially good with questions about your love life, because we've got some experience. There are going to be two people answering questions on this column. Please make you ask specifically who you'd like to have answer your question. Either Jimmy, or Lou. (; Both give great advice, but please make sure you are specific in your questions! We don't take only specific questions, so just ask away!
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Member Since: October 8, 2007
Answers: 22
Last Update: October 10, 2007
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ok, so here's my story. one of my best friends is now my boyfriend. some of my friends think we are like- gonna get married. but we first started going out a year ago. and we broke up because it seemed like we were still just friends. then we got back together, and we love each other. BUT some of my friends hate him. others like him, and others are really good friends with him. some of my friends arguments for not liking him are pretty ridiculous though, like that i wasnt spending time with them anymore-- which totally isnt true, (we were at sleepaway camp) and i was in their cabin- and spent like-- 18 hrs a day with them, so i dont kno if they are onto something or not, because i think that my bf is amazing, and he is sweet, and funny, and nice. please tell me what i should do! i mean, he really is trying to get them to be ok with him.
In my opinion, true friends aren't just people who will look past this just for you. The reasons for your friends disliking your boyfriends can vary. Perhaps they used to like him? Even a close friend might be reluctant to tell you that they have a crush on your boy friend. PLUS!! He's your best friend too! Remember that some of your friends might feel like him being a boyfriend and best friend is closer to you than they will ever be. Although it may not be true, that's probably how they feel. Are they single? If all or some of them are that also might be a reason. I highly doubt it's jealously unless they are hostile towards both of you i think its more like...they dont exactly realize the situation and they dont know how you and your boy friend are supposed to act after being best friends for so long. Another, yet over-used and over-dramatized reason is they might have seen a different side of him. It's easy to be two-faced, they might have gotten a few glimpses or they might be suspicious, they might just be a little shy of telling you because these situations usually end with an ending of a good friendship. All the things above may be a reason, and there are plenty of more reasons. They might just be worried for you, and again, they might be afraid to tell you. You might not be sure who to believe. Rejection is one of the most common fears. Be sure to remember that. You need to talk to them, let them know how much they mean to you and how your boyfriend have a different relationship and how your friendship with them will last. But, like I say to my friends in person. I cant tell you exactly what to say, then it wouldn't be you saying it if you did. It has to be all you. So talk to them, I'm sure your boyfriend is a great guy and couples that were best friends first have a wayy bigger chance of surviving. And remember, dont try to MAKE them like him, let them see that you wouldn't go out with a guy that is bad. Also ask them why, and ask them gently for the truth. Friendships are based on truth anyways. Whatever you do, do NOT have this conversation during an argument, and if it seems to lead towards one, tell them how you feel that the conversation should carry out when you are on good terms. And you you, Listen, dont be to quick to judge, if they're your friends and they're willing to listen to you, you owe them the same at the least.
Also, make time for your friends and your boyfriend. They're both important and they both probably care about you so much. Yeah, it might suck, yeah, you might want to spend more and more time with your boyfriend as your relationship grows, but remember, THEY'RE YOUR FRIENDS!! They love you too. After you talk to them, as well as your boyfriend, i'm sure that they'll get along sooner or later and you'll be able to hang out with your friends and boyfriend at the same time, and then they'll know that you want to have time with him alone. It's just instinct. I'm sure they'll understand. Oh yeah, Venting is a normal part in everyone's life, but whether you're talking to your boyfriend about a friend that is bugging you or vise versa, always, ALWAYS (ALWAYS) remember to try and think about their point of view and talk about it too. Otherwise it might give them a reason for disliking each other.
Anyways, if you need any more advise at all, don't hesitate to ask for some more advise. I'm here to talk.
Good luck!!
Sincerely,
-jimmy
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thank you soo much! that really helped, and i've done those things, so i guess i should just let time do it's thing, and see how it goes.
thanx again!
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