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Q: Alright so i've been going out with this guy for about of month now and we're exclusive and everything. He lives 30 minutes away and he's a lifeguard and swim instructor (I'm 17 going on 18 and he's 16 going on 17). The problem is, is that he's going to have to work more often and for longer periods of time, from 10-9PM mostly everyday and it's getting harder to see him and much harder to hear from him (before this we texted each other like 24/7) anyway, I really like him and am actually considering professing my love for him tonight but being that he might be working a lot during the school year as well, I'm not sure where we're going in terms of being in a relationship and whether or not I can handle not being able to see him very often. We usually drive to see each other so it's not like I can't go to see him but I want to be able to see him at least once a week like we did before he started working so much. We really do like each other and he's perfect other than the fact that he likes to work so much. Another thing is that I'm turning 18 soon and I'm thinking that I might be able to find guys who are older but can at least be more stable in terms of a close-distanced relationship...It really breaks my heart when I think about breaking up with him because he's such a nice guy... I'm going to talk to him tonight about all of this, but in the end I'm just thinking that it might not be worth pursuing if we're going to keep stressing out about how to see each other when we'll both be busy with school, and him with work...
So it boils down to two questions that I'd like you guys/girls to help me answer...
1.) Should I end this relationship and try to stay friends (even though I know that won't happen) simply because it's going to be harder to see and hear from him?
and
2.) Should I stay with him and try and ride this out and hope that we'll be able to see each other during the school year?
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Ask yourself this question: is this guy willing to commit to you (despite his work demands)? It definitely sounds like you are trying to keep the relationship work, but if isn't putting as much effort into it, then I would take a break for the summer and then see how you feel when school starts. Talking to him is the best start and hopefully that will help you get a better idea of how committed he is in this relationship. If you decide to stay together, maybe you could set a weekly "date night" where you designate a certain day of the week (maybe a day when he works fewer hours or has off)and go to the movies, go to dinner, have a picnic, or something as a way to keep the romance alive. Whatever you do, make sure you are not stressing out. Relationships are not always perfect, but they shouldn't stress you out either. Remember--it's summer, you should be relaxing and enjoying yourself!
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thanks I really appreciate it
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bio
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Hi, I'm Jenny and I am here to give you the advice you need! I am a psychology major in college and I hope to become a therapist or psychologist after I finish school. I am very friendly and opened-minded so don't be afraid to ask me! If you would feel more comfortable, you can send me your question in an email. My email is advice@askjen.org. I am also starting my own online advice website, check it out at www.askjen.org (I just started working on it so there's not much there yet).
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Info
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E-mail: Gender: Female Occupation: student Member Since: July 25, 2007 Answers: 17 Last Update: August 9, 2007 Visitors: 1548
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