about

I'm burningXstar (feel free to shorten that to any name you like!) i'm a student living in the UK, and as well as having a very mixed up life, I do enjoy trying to help others with their problems and woes in return for everyone elses much appreciated advice =)

I try to help people as best as I can, most of my advice is through personal experience, and experiences I have learnt through people around me. I consider myself to be a good listener, and tend to pick up on lots of little details, so hopefully this will also help me to answer any questions! I also study biology so if relevant I will use scientific data to back up any questions. However there are always going to be some things I honestly know nothing about! I will not give half hearted answers to these questions! Therefore I will only answer questions I can put all my knowledge and effort into.

My realm of topics still varies, hence why I haven't listed any "main catagories". But if you have any questions feel free to ask me for any advice and I promise I will reply! =)

advice


my best friend is middle eastren and she is muslim. she is really really cool and so open minded. she's nothing like how muslims are portrayed in the media. she goes out has fun but still respects her tradition and stuff and i respect that. recently she's been worried like crazy though. when i asked her she actually confided in me and told me whats the matter... i didn't know what to tell her so i was hoping you guys can help its very serious:


she fell in love with this muslim guy and they love each other soooo much and are planning to get married soon. in islam a girl has to be a virgin to get married and the "only solid proof" of that is if her hymen is still intact. she'as never had sex before so she IS a virgin. that we both know. however, she does masturbate... and she told me she looked it up and it is allowed in islam for her to do so if it meant not having sex before marriage. so far so good. the only problem is that she broke her hymen masturbating and culture/traditional wise no religion wise she will get in so much trouble for that. if she gets married and she doesn't bleed on her first night retributions will be bad (and i mean beyond european and north american bad... i ddnt even want to ask her about them)

now ignore all that. that was just background. my question is there anyway she can repair her hymen? or fake bleeding or something? can a gyno in the states or canada do it for her (she is there to finish college) is there anyyyyway possible to get her out of accusations she is inocent of?

please help she is really panicking... and she cant talk to her parents about it even if she showed them proof that religion does permit it.....it's her country's tradition.....

Okay, here are the facts about hymens:
Some girls are actually born without a hymen, and those that are born with a hymen - it is usually broken by physical activity other then sex, such as gymnastics, horse riding, etc. it is actually quite rare for a girls hymen to be fully intact when she has her first sexual intercourse. As well as this it is possible to have sex for the first time and not bleed. All girls are different, and it is difficult to use science against any type of religion I know but it is fact! Any doctor or proffessional would say the same - and it would be obsurd to say masturbation is permitted if torn hymens were not.
You need to pass this information onto your friend - if you look at any website on hymens it will tell you the same information - most hymens are very VERY thin membranes that tear early in childhood, there is no true way to tell if any girl is a virgin, unless she has a thick hymen (which is rare) and if she is a virgin - her word should be proof enough.
I hope in the future religions will update themselves with scientific fact - as it is a great shame your friend has to suffer this anxiety when she has done nothing wrong!
Good luck & I wish your friend all the best in her marriage!
:)

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(Rating: 4) its not her religion as much as her culture :S and thats exactly what angers me there could be a billion and one reasons why she had it broken in the first place but in her country (which she eventually has to go back to) she has to preserve it.... no exercise no blah blah.... i am just glad she's here for college :S
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