Q: Okay. So I'm 19 and I dated a guy for about a year, and he broke up with me in January because he thought I cheated on him (I didn't, by the way). I then went on a 2-month visit to another state. A couple days after I left, he told me that he was still in love with me and wanted me to come home. When I did come home, we got back together, and he told me that in the couple of days we were broken up, he had fingered a girl that I used to talk to (she and I weren't friends, more of just acquaintances). I didn't really think much of it -- I mean, we weren't together and he was kind of rebounding anyway.
The other day, he accidentally let it slip that he hadn't just fingered the girl, but he had started having sex with her and they had to stop because she was a virgin and it was hurting her. I'm not really upset that he did it (though, of course, it does hurt). Mostly I'm upset because he lied to me.
We started talking and he basically said he had lied because he didn't want to hurt me. I know he feels really bad for the whole thing, and regrets everything he did with her. I forgave him for lying, and of course for having sex with her. But since he told me, all I can think about is her. Like when I close my eyes, I can literally picture them together, having sex. I try not to let it bother me, because it's in the past and I know that I'm the only one he wants to be with. But it does bother me.
Am I wrong to be letting this bother me? I mean, I know that he would never cheat on me or anything like that. That's not my problem. My problem is the stupid past.
If I'm being stupid by letting this get to me, can someone tell me how to let go of it?
