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Q: This will be verry long, but please bear with me and help.. I am desperate for advice right now..
I feel like there is no reason for me to live anymore. The past week my friends have stood me up and lied to me. My mom is a huge alcoholic so all she does is yell at me (like now), blaming me for her personal problems. My dad is always angry at me. I never know why, actually. I am always doing something that makes him mad. Whenever I have something to say, nobody listens. Usually they later regret it but that doesn't stop from ignoring me again. Also, my cousin cheerfully (at least it seemed like it) said I am invited to her birthday party. It would be a huge blast since she just turned 18. She said she would tell me when to get there.. but later after asking she never responded back, because she never told me. So she went without me. First of all, this meant SOO much to me because I haven't seen her in months, so I was looking forward to it.
She also did this a few other times so I wouldn't consider it an accident. She never wants to take me anywhere.
It's the same with my friends. I post bulletins on Myspace, saying how hurt I am or something, and nobody cares to reply back. You'd think out of 100 friends, one of them would, right? No.
I feel hated, betrayed, and lied to. I feel like I am everyone's punching bag.
I am mentally ill, actually. I have attempted suicide numerous times, once ending up in the ER. I get panic attacks and mental breakdowns. I do see my school counselor, but all she can do is calm me down. She doesn't help the problem, she just helps the way I feel. But I want the problem to be helped because all it does is it gets worse. I am sick and tired of being treated all crappy. I do nice things for people but the favor is never returned. Usually I don't expect any to be but I never get one returned.
My parents refuse to get me to a Psychologist. The most I can do right now is school counseling. I live in a crappy city so there is no shelters nearby or anything.
I want to die. I want to be gone. I am sure if I do die, everyone will be happy because right now everyone just gets mad at me for no reason. I have done nothing wrong, but I blame mysef everyday for just existing.
What can I do?? PLEASE HElP!!=[
ps - please don't ignore this because I know this site gets many questions about depression and suicide, and I know I am annoying you people for adding on to it. But I am ill, and I need help. Thanks.
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Hunny, dont kill yourself. Suicide is taking the easy way out of life. I dont know exactly all you're problems and how you handle them but i can make a promise to you, that eventually things will get better, and you just have to believe they do. I sometimes go through a lot of problems all at once, and maybe they may not be as bad as yours, but i just hang in there until there over. And its okay to cry, and feel depressed, and hurt and lost. No body can tell you how you should feel, and sometimes we can't even help it. But hang in there, because one day you wont be living with your parents and you dont have to take there verbal abuse, and you`ll be out of school and you`ll be able to do what you want, and work on the things you need in life. And you are not a doormat, so dont let people walk all over you, every person in life i believe should be treated with respect and never taken for granted. If you are a good person to the people you love and care about, and they dont show as much emotion as you show then thats okay, you are the better person and you do deserve more. Also you may think that if you commit suicide that everyone will be happier and okay with it, we`ll you're wrong. Because wether you're parents yell at you or not they still love you with everything they have. And maybe people dont respond to bulletins cuz they dont know how to express how they feel towards you, but i bet everyone of them cares about you. And once your gone you will not be able to experiences all the postive things life has to offer. Not everything will be easy, there are obstacles you will have to face, but just be who you are, and if you really think you need to see a doctor then tell a relative and sit down and talk with them and see if they can convince your parents, because you deserve help. Or simply open up to a friend more, because friends have the best advice to offer, and no matter what they are always there for you. If you need any more advice, feel free to message me alright?
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bio
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Its okay to want someone you cant have. Its okay to keep friendships when you dont want them,or want something more. Its okay to cry when you're hurt, & its okay to stay mad at someone who hurt you. Believe it or not, its always going to be okay. Thats just how it works. Sometimes, things dont always work out the way you want them to, & a lot of times, it seems like they never will. But its okay, thats how lifes suppose to go. Its all about learning how to deal with the bumpy parts in the road & waiting till they're smooth again. Its all about forgiving & forgetting. Its all about waiting & wishing. Thats just how life is.
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Info
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Gender: Female Occupation: school Age: 17 Member Since: March 21, 2005 Answers: 86 Last Update: October 8, 2007 Visitors: 4822
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