Hey everyone, I have been giving advice on this site since I was 16 and have always been honest with the askee. I just feel that there is no point in lying as I would hate to be lied too and thats why I always tell it like it is. I also feel that when people lie - it causes more hurt than good. Anyone after honest advice - feel free to send me a question!!
Also if you EVER need additional advice just send me an email and I will get back to you :)
Dxxxxxxx
Website: debateists space
E-mail: debateist@outlook.com
Gender: Female
Location: Glasgow
Occupation: Writer
Age: 24
Member Since: December 20, 2006
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(Sorry if this is too long, but I'm just a 17-year-old girl who has no idea what she's doing in this area of her life :3 Never had a boyfriend [or girlfriend for that matter] before, mainly because... I just didn't want one enough to go out and seek one.)
So I've been best friends with this guy for at least five years. However, ever since we've met, he's had a huge crush on me--I'm not sure if it's been on/off or continuous, though he has had a couple of short-term relationships while I've known him. I kind of had a crush on him once or twice, but I never asked him out because, at the time I did like him, I was unsure of whether he liked me or not.
Anyway, now we're both 17, and he likes me, though I've kind of grown asexual and I don't particularly care for anyone in that sort of way. So today, he asks me if I want to go see a play at his church; I don't go to that church (I'm not even his same religion), but I'm good friends with some of the other people in his youth group so I said sure. The night passes on, and as he's driving me home, he asks me to be his girlfriend. I kind of sputter for a second, but finally I just say sure.
Now I don't know what to do. I love him as a friend, and a part of me says that I might as well go out with him--that I even owe it to him (we have a kind of "he buys me food every once in a while and I don't release my undead feline minions upon him" relationship). However, I really don't want to hurt him by just breaking up with him in the end. I'm a senior in a public high school and (hopefully) I'll be going to an art college after I graduate (if not out-of-state, definitely out-of-town). He's homeschooled and doesn't have much of a desire to go to any college, so I'll be leaving this town in a few months anyway, but...
The truth is, I have no idea if I like him or not. It's not a definite "yes or no" question--on the one hand, he's the first guy in my life who's ever asked me out without being a complete sleezeball; but on the other, I don't know if I like him for anything more than a friend.
So what I'm trying to ask is this: is there anyway I can find out if I really like him or not, preferably before I hurt him? And if I don't like him, how can I tell him without using the whole "I like you as a friend, but not as a boyfriend" routine? (Most guys I know absolutely hate that, and I can understand why.) Help, please?
(Once again, sorry for the "tl;dr"-ness of this question. Kind of utterly baffled here.) (link)
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If your not comfortable with the whole kiss him and find out situation which I btw totally agree with I would say that you should try and go on at least a few dates and if it feels couply and not the same as usual then let it run its course but remember just because youre going out doesnt mean youre whole relationship has to dramatically change.
Good luk either way and I hope you find what youre looking for in both love and life.
yours dxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Rating: 4
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Thanks, I might consider doing the date thing. Though I don't feel comfortable kissing him :x
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