Member Since: September 22, 2006
Answers: 205
Last Update: February 1, 2007
Visitors: 16666
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Well to start out with I`m a 16/female.
My boyfriend is 24 years old.
My parents are fine with our relationship, so yeah.
Today we were hanging out, and I got really mad at him for a dumb reason. So then he told me he didn`t think that things could work. I started crying & eventually fell asleep. When I woke up he told me he had taken 12 anxiety pills, which could potentially put him into a coma.
I could've care less about that, I was more worried about myself and I felt bad for me because I hated the fact that he had broken up with me. We then went to a coffee house to watch his friends band play. I was still crying, I couldn`t help myself.
I stormed out, to call my best friend because I needed to tell someone what had happened. Then him & friend came out of the coffee house & said, "Hey Mari we have to go now!" I was like "What's going on now?" Mikes friend had told Mikes mother & brother about it, so like we had to go back to Mike`s apartment. They told me I had to go upstairs while everyone talked, which was fine.
His mother drove me home, and I didn`t get to say good bye to Mike. :[ She was saying how me & him should stop seeing each other, because it`s not a good time for him to be in a relationship & I`m causing him way too much stress.
WHAT SHOULD I DO?
Oh my gosh, I`m so confused. I`d appreciate any response.
Thanks in advance, =] (link)
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I'm bracing for a "1" rating, but I'm not about to tell you what you might want to hear. This is an advice site after all, not a popularity contest. I just hope you take what people say and think it over.
Duct tape has a point, even if its one that isn't easy to hear. I'd possibly even go further, as I don't think an eight-year age difference is an exact gap, especially when a teenager is involved. More than likely there is a HUGE gap in experience between you and him, far beyond literally 8 years. I guarantee that while he is by no means finished maturing, going from 16-24 is a huge amount of time, and everyone changes so much that its literally night and day.
That being said, I would advise you to bear in mind that its often difficult to have a relationship and keep it when two people have such disparate experiences and personalities in regards to this situation - age is a big thing, especially at this age. You might disagree with us now, but wait 10 years, and when you look back, you'll totally see what we are saying.
Its obvious this guy is having issues, I'm guessing your garden-variety depression at the very least. So its a given that he's going to get bummed out from just about anything, from the sky being grey to his coffee being cold. Throw in a GF that throws temper-tantrums and plays with his emotions (thats the impression I get), and...well..lets look at what you said:
First you said that "I got mad at him for a dumb reason". Not good. He is depressed, and you admit you got mad for a poor reason. Likely he took this poorly, and when this happens once, its probably happened several times in the past preceding this.
Next he takes a bunch of pills, and you say you 'couldn't care less' (my edit for clarity), which is a VERY worrisome thing to say. You go on to say that you basically didn't care that he tried to OD, and that you were "more worried about myself" and "I felt bad for me because...he had broken up with me". So, in review, you were more concerned with yourself, and the fact that he broke up with you, than you were about the possibility that your BF could possibly keel over, have a stroke, or in some other way die from whatever he did? NM the possible damage to internal organs, such as the liver, that often happens with certain OD's when a person DOES live...
So far, you sound more than a tad selfish, if you are less concerned with a BF's life/health, and more concerned with the fact you two were breaking up. At this point I would be wondering if your 'grief' was more about being broken up with in general and nothing to do with him per se, rather than any emotional bond with this boy. Most people I know, if their BF was breaking up, and did this with pills, would be "Oh crap!! Lets get you to the hospital and call your parents" not "I don't care about the OD, just the fact that he broke up with me".
If I was his mother, I would be thinking the exact same thing she was, and have told you about the same thing she told you. If you are messing with his emotions (possibly already unstable emotions) to such an extent that he's trying to OD in your presence, then yes...this is a relationship that should stop. If for no other reason THEN HE MIGHT REALLY OD NEXT TIME. There is NO reason to put a depressed person through stress of any kind over and over.
Take this time to examine your feelings for him. If you still want to see him in the future, give him time to work out his problems and see what happens. But how strong are your feelings if you didn't care that he might have OD'ed on you?!? If the answer is that you don't like him enough to care that he OD'ed, then IMO the relationship isn't worth salvaging, and move on.
I'm not trying to jump on you, just pointing out what jumped out at me when I read your post. If you are wanting to clarify, or get some clarification from me, shoot me an email at Erronius@Hotmail.com. And if you do anything, really try to give him some time, and space, if you care for him at all. Don't badger him or pester him, thats not a good call.
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Rating: 5
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That was amazing. & No I wouldn`t give you a 1 rating. The whole situation basically started out with, it was supposed to be just me and him, like alone all day. Then his mom invited his brother to go out to lunch with her, so he invited me & him along. He gave me chlaynapn. [anxiety pill] The thing is, after I had taken it, I didn`t know I would completely be lost afterwards. I don`t remember arguing with him, but I know it was something about him not taking me to Blockbuster. I didn`t understand while I was on the drug that he really could be in serious pain. I was just more worried about myself because I was completely out of it, and he had broken up with me -- I was just so confused. I know that I would`ve had that type of "let`s take him to the hospital" reaction if I would`ve been stable, but I wasn`t. Thanks.
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