Member Since: October 29, 2006
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Last Update: August 17, 2009
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xojessii
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My dad has yelled and cussed since I was born. For example, last night his sister called and I went over to him and I had the phone in my hand. I said, "Dad? Do you want to talk to your sister? Here's the phone." And he ignored me, so I put it down and was walking up the stairs, and he heard his sister leaving a message. He ran over to the phone, turned to me, and yelled, "YOU IDIOT! WHY DIDN'T YOU ANSWER IT?" And I didn't know what to say because I had asked him if he wanted to talk to her, but he didn't answer. I coudn't cry in front of him. I did once and he started screaming at me for it. Do I even have a reason to be upset for him saying that to me? I don't know. Sometimes I feel so stupid for getting upset over things like that and I don't think I have a reason to. I was trying to tell my mom something earlier and he walked by, glared at me, and said, "SHUT UP!" For no reason. He yells and cusses at me and my brother almost every day for no reason at all. I've talked to my mom before and she didn't do anything. The only time she's tried talking to my dad about it, he simply started cussing at me and her. He's okay one minute, then the next he's yelling like a maniac. I can't take this anymore. I'm still crying over something he said to me LAST year. Do I have a reason to be upset? What am I supposed to do? (link)
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This is a really sad situation and you absolutely have every right to be upset, sensitive, and angry. Your father seems to have extreme anger management problems, he seems like an all around mean man. do you know anything about his childhood, such as if he was beaten or abused? that could explain why he acts this way, but even so, it is uncalled for and he shouldn't be yelling at his kids that way. I think that you should write your mom a letter, it's gonna be awkward, but it could really help. It seems like there are underlying reasons why your mother doesn't ever take your side. It could be because she knows something about your dad that you don't, it could also be because she is so worried about a divorce that she does not want to do anything that could upset him more. For now, you really need to let everything that your father says go.
please try to ignore what your father says, you really did absolutely nothing wrong, when he is cruel to you, you can be mad at him, but do not become angry at the world, it's going to take time for your father to change and right now you need to focus on your own happiness, which means getting out of the house more often, leaning on friends for support, and finding others hobbies that consume your time.
But please write the letter to your mom, it will really help, jsut be polite and mature, and if you choose to do that and need help with it, feel free to email me back and i will help you.
also, your brother is struggling with the same thing, so don't be afraid to open up and talk to him, he probably needs you as well
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