I am a 26-year-old wife and mother of two. I may be young but I have a well-rounded variety of life experiences. Some of that includes dealing with blended families, in-laws, parenting, and strange dreams. There are other topics I have a broad base of knowledge in and I will typically lean towards those more than others. They happen to be my favorite categories.
If you ask a question, the typical response time is within 24 hours.
**Please note that I am not a certified counselor. I am just an average lady who wishes to give you an honest opinion.**
Gender: Female
Location: Pennsylvania, USA
Age: 26
Member Since: November 18, 2006
Answers: 35
Last Update: April 2, 2007
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Vikki27
Erronius
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Ok so heres my problem....
Im a 25 year old female living in Victoria, Australia. My dad left when i was a few mnths old and have never seen him. My mum abused me emotionally and physically all my life and my younger sibling was treated like royalty.I was called obsene names I was called worthless and stupid and other choice phrases.after fights mum would lock herself in her room when i was 5 and pretend she was dead. when i broke in she would still pretend that she was dead.....i'd scream at her til she got up and she would shake me and say "how would the family feel if they knew you killed your mother" i was abused physically and sexullay by my EX best friend and her friend. But lately i've been so miserable every day. nothing makes me happy and i've been cutting myself with a pair of scissors it doesn't evn hurt me. I pinch myself so i get bruises on my arms and legs....cuz i think i deserve it. It sounds stupid but i want someone to care about me and understand. but cant manage to get the words out. I don't want to be here anymore. How can i be happy again? what can i do? (link)
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The cutting is a coping mechanism. When you cut, you feel better because you are able to feel something in the absence of loving emotion.
It is not unusual for you to want to feel loved, accepted, wanted, needed, and cared about. Your mother was a rotten piece of work and never understood what she was putting you through.
Here are some options you can explore to bring you happiness. One option is to get some more friends. They don't have to be your age, you know. The older crowd (like thirties and forties) are actually my favorite. If you are religious, head to church. Find a local place to volunteer and be friendly with the other people. Even joining a gym (which has double benefits, health and friendship).
By building up relationships with other people, you will gain the acceptance and sense of 'belonging' you desire and never got with your mom. The past can certainly influence our present, but it doesn't have to dictate our future. What happened to you as a child doesn't have to happen to you as an adult. You are old enough now to walk away when somebody treats you poorly (as oppposed to living in the same house as them).
If you need some more people your (our) age to speak to regularly, you could join me in my forum
http://spilr.proboards100.com
I know I would love to be your friend. :) It is a small forum, but there are a couple ladies there (around our age) whom I've never met and consider good friends of mine. We are availible for just good ol' conversation many times during the day if you want.
One last option you have is counseling. I am not exactly sure what is availible in your area, but here in the states, we can go to clergy, anonymous groups, and there are counselors that are based on our wages. Counseling will help you understand yourself and will give you tools to employ in your everyday life to help you find joy in even the smallest things (like cooking, for example).
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Rating: 5
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What a wonderful help you have been...its hard to put feelings and reasons together but you have helped me in that respect. I thank you sincerely and hope to chat again
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