I only joined this because I realized that all of my friends come to me for advice. I have two gifts: the gift of gab, and the gift of brutal honesty. I am trying to remember that there is a difference between brutal honesty and bitchiness. I am really cute, relatively intelligent, and sort of funny, so I think I am in at least the top 25 percent of the general population of humans. My advice might be the stuff you don't want to hear, but it is probably the stuff that you need to know.
Gender: Female
Location: St. Louis
Occupation: Student/Help Desk
Age: 23
Member Since: October 29, 2006
Answers: 21
Last Update: November 2, 2006
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I have a hard time talking to my parents about anything. Whenever I'm around them alone it's an akward silence. I feel bad about asking them to do anything for me (when I rarely ask). Every day after school, I just go up to my room and get on the computer and sleep. I self-relient. I cook, clean, and shop for myself; I also drive myself to anywhere I may need to go. I asked my mom to go to the mall with me a few weeks ago and it was almost like pulling teeth to get her to agree (I had just started driving and I was nervous driving around the mall area since it's so congested. I wanted her to drive ONLY around that area). My mom can't really use the "I'm too busy to [insert activity here]" excuse since she doesn't work and I'm the only child that lives in the house. I almost feel like my parents don't care about what's going on in my life since they never ask. They rarely even ask about report cards, grades, or school in general. How can I open up to them more?
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First of all, in an effort to ease your mind, you must be aware that MANY, MANY people have communication issues with their parents. More often than not, it stems from issues in childhood/adolescence.
Many people also have great relationships with their parents as children, but when the teenage years hit, it all plummets. Teenagers are generally uncomfortable with themselves, therefore uncomfortable with everyone around them, especially the 'rents.
Whatever the case, this can be mended.
But you have to make the effort.
Don't look at is as "my parents don't care about what's going on," look at it is "perhaps my parents think I want privacy, so that's what they're trying to give them."
So here is what you do.
Think of things that your parents enjoy. Everyone loves talking about certain things. Whether it's a hobby, or a musician they are passionate about, or their job, whatever. Find the topics that your parents genuinely enjoy discussing and ask them questions about the topics. This will get the ball rolling. Don't start off by talking about yourself, because you know you are capable of talking. Put the ball in their court. Then, after awhile of this, hopefully you have at least opened the doors to communications and can speak more freely and comfortably about what's going on in their lives. Being someone's daughter/son is really really hard, but being someone's parent is really difficult as well.
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