Member Since: September 22, 2006
Answers: 205
Last Update: February 1, 2007
Visitors: 16658
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UGH
Okay so I'm 15/f and there's this guy (duh isn't there always?) and hes mormon and I'm Jewish. He's 16 though so hes allowed to date now. I know he likes me; he told me so. He said he can't ask me out because of his parents and that hes only supposed to date in the church. However, we were hanging out when all of the happened and after he said that and during we was just holding me in his arms (which I fit into perfectly by the way).
It kind of tears me up inside because it feels like we have something special and I realize I'm only 15 and am not in love or anything like that, but I can see a future with him probably a lot because of his religous principles. Like he won't cheat on me or anything.
Anyways I dont really have a specific question or anything but I would really like to know how to handle this! (link)
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Oi vey...
1. Be careful with the thought: "I know he likes me; he told me so". Just because someone says they like you doesn't mean you can take it to the bank as fact. Maybe he does, maybe he doesn't. President Clinton told the media he wasn't having sexual relations with Monica Lewinsky, and we know how all that turned out. If it was that easy, I would write a letter and tell Angelina Jolie that I loved her, and to get rid of that Brad Pitt guy.
2. If he cannot commit to you for whatever reason (parents, church, blah blah blah), then I would recommend moving on. It may sound harsh, but if he says he cannot even ask you out, I would assume anything more is out of the question entirely. Becoming MORE involved with this guy could very possibly cause you even MORE hurt and pain in the long run. I say cut your losses now.
3. Its easy to become comfortable with whoever you are currently with; its also easy to fall in love with the idea of 'fitting perfectly' with someone. In my experience, unless you only ever date or love a single person, eventually you will find others that will hold you in their arms (and you will fit perfectly into those arms, as well).
4. He cannot, or will not, ask you out due to his situation, as per religion. Yet, you say you can see a future with him 'probably a lot' because this must mean he wont cheat on you. Well, IMO you could date Atheists or Wiccans and not be cheated on any more than by a Mormon...and the difference here is that he cant even ask you out in the first place. I guess what I am trying to say here, is that I don't understand how you can see a future with him based on how devout he is, when this is what is possibly keeping him from asking you out in the first place.
5. I'd suggest not worrying over this guy, it might not be meant to be. Either keep your eyes open for someone of your religion if being devout is important to you, or dont be picky about religion per se and hope that they will feel the same way.
6. Would you convert for him? Would he convert for you? If one, or both, of the answers are 'NO', then "Houston, we have a problem". If you are unwilling to convert for someone else, then you REALLY should be looking for someone else who is Jewish. I know this might sound a little too intense at 15, but if you are going to start dating then its time to take these things into account. Once someone falls in love, or once someone gets pregnant, its too late. And trust me, things can change in a hurry too.
GL in any event, I hope things work out for you.
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Rating: 5
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Wow...if anyone deserves a 5 its you! Thanks! You're so right too. Theres like, 3 other guys that like me too and I've just not even considered them because of this guy. I think I'll give that a try. THANKS SO MUCHHHH!!!! :D
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