Member Since: September 22, 2006
Answers: 205
Last Update: February 1, 2007
Visitors: 16656
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So I love my boyfriend very much but sometimes he's just always there. Latched on to me like a leech. Don't get me wrong.. I do love it that he pays attention to me soo much, but I do want to have some space sometime. But he seems to always be there all the time trying to pull me so close that our skin could be melted together. Please help me. I don't know how to tell him that I want space, without hurting his feelings.Btw we've been going out for almost 11 months. (link)
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This may not be the answer you are looking for, but bear with me.
Just tell him straight up that you need a little "Me" time.
Of course, be sure to tell him that this isn't a case of "I need my space, therefore we are breaking up". Be sure you get this point across (and I know we men can be thick-headed), that needing a little space does not always equate a break-up...as this may be the first conclusion he jumps to.
Remember also that the more you stress over this, the more he will too, when you tell him. Just be nonchalant, shrug and say "I love/like/cherish/whatever you but sometimes I just need to be alone". Then follow up with possibly some plan, like in a few days, to assure that he really doesnt think you are playing him. Give him a kiss, look him in the eyes, hold him, give him the physical reassurance that you are still into him and like him, but try to be firm that you need time, you need space. Use your feminine wiles. If you just go in and demand space, and he'll draw his own conclusions and possibly get mad and bolt. This has been done to me personally, and I have to say its better than having someone stop answering your phone calls or giving no explanation just because you were a bit too cloying. In fact clearing the air like this can be a good thing. Communication, and reassurance, is key.
I've been on both sides of this too - so yeah, I feel your pain.
Practice now because odds are he won't be the last guy you find yourself in this position with /shrug (thats possibly a cynical thought, I know, but hey many will back me on that I'm sure). Heck, married couples sometimes go through this. Its normal.
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Rating: 5
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Thanks alot. That was very helpful. And to come from a guy is even more awesome!!
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