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Hello All,
I am counsellor with over 12 years experience specializing in parenting, families, youth and mental health. I answer questions in a blunt and straightforward way so if you are looking for coddling or really touchy feely type advice thats not me I provide real solutions for your problems and concrete suggestions in other words I tell you the plain truth I don't sugarcoat.

I am really worried these days with the easy access to the internet and all the false information that is out there and the fact that people believe it!! So please ask first. I don't claim to have all the answers but I can claim that NOTHING will shock me you can try though :)

I look forward to hearing you thoughts and questions.

advice

About 4 months ago, I noticed that my teenage daughter was losing some weight, but only a little. As time progressed, she wouldn't stop losing weight, and she was a size 2. I started to worry about her and made sure that she ate dinner every day. However, she constantly made excuses for not eating, so we saw a therapist (this is about a month ago from now). In our second session, she admitted that she was anorexic. She now refuses to go back to the therapist. My question is this. I'm very worried about my daughter and her weight. Forcing her to eat would cause her to possibly develop bulimia and she would start to hate me, so how do I make sure that she eats?

Hi there, I am a mental health counselor and have worked extensively with people who have anorexia. While for immediate health concerns it is important that your daughter eat this is not the real issue. To ensure she eats you need to tell her that while you understand she doesn't want to the EXPECTATION is that she eats a minimum amount of food every day. You also need to insure that if she keeps losing weight that you take her to a childrens hospital in your area that has a good psychiatric dept. and knows how to deal with youth who have anorexia. If need be they will force feed her in order to limit damage to her heart and organs. Also if your daughter starts eating but increases her exercise this is counter-acting her eating and is extremely dangerous for her heart.

As for the actual disease; this disease is not about eating it is about control. This is the only way that your daughter feels that she has any control in her life. She cannot get well on her own, she will need help and more then you can give her as well.

As a family /youth counselor I feel I must say that it is important for you to realize that while we all want our children to love and respect us being a parent means making the hard decsions and the hard choices. Seeking treatment for your daughter may anger her and she may say she hates you but in the end you are saving your childs life. You need to be the adult and force her to be the kid. She is not old enough, wise enough or well enough to make good decisions for herself right now.

If you need more help feel free to message me.

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