Member Since: July 25, 2006
Answers: 11
Last Update: July 25, 2006
Visitors: 1295
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This boy asked me to dance at prom (about 1 or 2 months ago). I said yes to be nice, but I really don't like him like that. However, he then tried to follow me around the entire night, always trying to dance with me the whole time. After that we never talked (which, not to be mean, but I was kind of glad about). However apparently his friend got my number from facebook & left me some message, then he called me back to apologize. Then I just went on facebook & under "Status" for his friend it says he is helping the boy try to get a girl. Obviously this is me, since the message was about some date. Basically now I want to know how to turn down this boy without hurting him, in a respectful manner. I honestly do not want to date him, but I am sort of a sensitive person, so I do not want to be mean myself. How do I go about saying no if he does call for a date? (female, 17 years old). (link)
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In retrospect you realize you shouldn't have gone with him. If you aren't interested in him and he is interested in you it is not a nice thing to do. Ignoring him the entire night was not a nice thing either. When you are on a date, especially a prom where the guy goes to a lot of trouble it is your responsibility to stay with your date during the dance and dance with him. It sounds like he was doing what he was supposed to do. If I found my daughter treated a date this way she would have been in trouble for being rude (if the young man crossed a line then she knows she can be as rude as she needs to be to get the situation under control before she calls me to come and pick her up. When you go out with someone you are obliging yourself to act in a certain manner and to be attentive to your date until the end of the event. Your actions at the dance do not sound like those of a sensitive person and do in fact sound kind of mean. It makes me wonder if you just don't want to face the unpleasant task of letting the young man know how you feel. A truly caring and sensitive person will know the kindest thing you can do is to be honest and tell him you are very touched by his feelings but you don't have those kind of feelings for him and he deserves someone who is capable of caring for him in a loving and attentive way. He needs to be with someone who not only makes him happy but who is happy to be with him. Frankly he would be miserable with you and needs to know that.
I have been in your situation at your age and know it does no one any good to hide behind fake feelings of sensitivity. Give the guy a chance to find someone worthy of him.
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Rating: 4
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Thank you for taking the time to answer me, and I agree with what you said. However, just to clear things up, he was not my date at prom. I went to prom without a date. He just asked me to dance, but he was not my prom date. Perhaps I should not have agreed to dance with him, but just to be clear I didn't actually go to prom with him. Therefore, I was free to dance with other boys as well, since I did not have a date & just went with some girlfriends. Thank you though!
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