hello everyone. first, thanks to everyone for the great ratings and feedback. i truly appreciate it. i love to help, in whatever way i can, and i like to think i can offer a unique opinion on issues, whatever they may be. feel free to ask me anything, i will try my best to give you the best answer i can. peace out.
E-mail: tiffanyblair@hotmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: Truro, Nova Scotia
Age: 22
MSN:
Member Since: July 12, 2006
Answers: 35
Last Update: August 2, 2006
Visitors: 3980
Main Categories:
Work/School Relationships
Love Life
Families
View All
|
| |
This is going to be super long...
Me and my boyfriend of about 7 and a half months broke up at the beginning of the week because he's leaving for a 9 month missions trip to Africa in 2 months. We were taking it way too seriously emotionally, contsantly disagreeing on things and just generally not doing too well. The breakup was mutual because even though we agreed the decision sucked, it is what's best for both of us right now. We resolved to be friends until he returned from Africa and try being together again when he gets back. So I turned around my claddagh ring (an Irish promise ring that kind of shows what your status is in relationships, I got one from him for Valentine's Da), put everything he ever gave me (cards, roses and other flowers that were now dead, poems and a few other things) away where I couldn't see them and basically cried until it was time for me to get up to go to work the next day. The next day I felt just kind of numb inside. Two days later he called me and then came over for a few hours to just hang out. We were having a great time, laughing and acting like the kids that we keep forgetting we are, like we used to. But the whole time I kept getting those painful stabs of missing him and I had to keep reminding myself that we weren't together anymore and that I couldn't randomly kiss him anymore. Everytime we've said goodbye since the breakup he kisses my cheek or my forehead or my neck and it hurts even more. There will be those moments where I'll catch him staring at me or vice versa and we both know what the other one is feeling and thinking, still even then. Since we've broken up we've hung out two or three times and the whole idea of being best friends again is going really really well. I have no problem with it at all I guess I just need help with getting used to it. Anybody have any suggestions? (link)
| |
Ever hear the saying "time heals all wounds"? This is true for your situation. It may be really hard now, and it will be hard for a while, but it will get better. If it is painful for you when you hang out with him, maybe you should take a break from that for a while. It's just a feeling I have, but if he's still kissing you goodbye, even if it's everywhere but your mouth, he still has feelings for you. 9 months is a long time, but maybe it's a good thing for you. The time apart will help you realize where you want the relationship to go when he gets back. You will both have matured a bit, and realized more who you are as individuals, instead of who you are as a couple. All I can tell you is that you should do what your heart is telling you. Maybe you should talk to him again about it before he leaves, or you'll have to wait 9 months to say what's on your mind. If you can sense that he still has feelings for you, and if you have feelings for him, you need to sort them out before he leaves the continent. As to what to do to get used to being just friends with him, maybe hang out in a group, instead of alone. There will be more distractions to keep you from thinking about how it used to be all the time. Go to a movie, and get distracted with that. Or just do something really fun, like go-karts or something. And if it is painful to you when he kisses you, ask him not to do it anymore, and tell him why. Good luck, and I hope everything works out for you.
|
|
Rating: 5
| |
Thanks so much!!! I really appreciate it and that made a few things make sense in my mind.
|
|