I'm 22 years old, just graduated from college, moved, and started a new job.
I'm dealing with a lot of self doubt and lack of direction, so I guess Freud would say I'm using this site to deal with these feelings.
I hope to use my interests in philosophy, psychology, and economics to give a holistic advice column and help someone out.
Gender: Male
Location: Omaha
Occupation: Intern
Age: 22
Member Since: May 28, 2006
Answers: 22
Last Update: September 14, 2006
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I've been at my job for several months now, and I just got switched to a new position within the job. I'm 21 and female, if that helps.
My problem is that I can't get along with the person who is training me (I'll call her Kim). Kim likes to micromanage, be in control of everything I do, and waste my time.
For example, I asked her how to edit the books and she said for me to do it myself. So I told her exactly what I was going to do and she said to go ahead and do it. So I finished up, put the book away, and started working on something else. She stopped me, told me I had done it wrong, and had me do it all over again.
I've caught her in mistakes and she'll never admit she's wrong. She always find a way to turn it back on me. We have keys organized by letters and numbers, and I asked her where the SVC keys were. So she told me wrong and I let her know. She said I asked her where the LFE keys were and that I was wrong and shouldn't "make mistakes when I'm asking questions".
It's not any one big thing. It's just a bunch of little things that go on all day. I'm pregnant and hormonal, and I end up crying in the bathroom several times a day because sometimes she is just flat out mean to me.
How do I deal with this problem? I really need it to stop. I'm afraid to tell the supervisors because Kim is the only black person in the office, and I'm afraid they'll oversimplify the problem as racism and miss the point completely (they do that a lot). Please help before I quit or go insame. Thanks. (link)
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I think your best alternative to quitting is to reverse the situation, using a little psychology. Try to make her an ally! (I know it sounds impossible, but be strong!)
Her conception of you now is apparently that of "punching bag". We want her to think of you instead as "ally". This way, she'll empathize with you - and want you to be a productive, happy subordinate instead of an outlet for her crap.
Of course, be friendly and try to develop common interests. Also, try to empathize with your boss as much as possible. Wave the white flag if you're on bad terms now, "apologize" when you make mistakes and promise you'll try harder. Might I suggest a stress ball for those moments?
Try to figure out why she is such a power freak, and satisfy that need in other ways. Develop a common enemy (the stupid computer, the ugly carpet, the lazy intern, whatever).
And lastly, keep a journal at work. When she chews you out for no good reason, write all about it. Did she make a mistake? Get it on record. A journal will let you vent the emotional strife, but also perhaps show others what a poor manager she is......
Good luck-
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Rating: 5
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Thanks so much! Just reading your advice made me feel so much better about going into work to deal with her. Thanks for reminding me that it _is_ still possible to work things out. I think a kind, positive word is all I needed to have the courage to try and fix things. Thank you.
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