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I've lived, I've seen, I've suffered, I've hurt and I'm still here. I'm happy to share how :) should you want to know.

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I RATE 5s. Im 14/f and I have a lot of small problems that I can't discuss with my friends. Well.. I can, but they have problems of their own to deal with. Even when they tell me their problems, sometimes I freak out that night- not because of their problem, just from too much negativity in my life. Sometimes I really want to cut... but I hate blood, so I can never go through with it. I think I might give out a "i have no problems" kind of vibe. I don't show up as an emotional person cus I don't want people to see that. I don't have THAT many problems,its just things build up inside me. I have no one to talk to about issues- I won't be talking to my parents about them, so please don't give that advice. I also have major trust issues because of most of my friends during elementry school. So if I do tell my friends something, I end up freaking out that night thinking they will tell someone. I'm not emo, I dont dress it, act like it, or any of that. I'm just sad on the inside. Most of my sadness lately is caused of loss of control over my life. I REALLY like this guy and he has a gf... but theres nothing i can do about it. My grades are going down and theres not much I can do to change them... stuff like that.

Thanks SO much. Sorry it was so long.
-anomynous-

I know EXACTLY how you feel.

During my time at high school, I suffered depression unbeknown to my friends and family. I did eventually bring myself to cutting, it lasted around 2 years and I finally moved on...

Mine too was caused by issues with elementary friends. Would I be close if I said that the reason you can't talk to your friends about it is that they were the elementary friends that caused your trouble? Also that your parents would brush off your feelings as 'stupid' and mostl likely tell you off rather than be of any help?

Anyway, if you're not a cutter, please try to avoid that path. I'd be wrong to say it doesn't help, but it is only a TEMPORARY resolve, and in the following days brings you feelings of pain and guilt.

Some ideas for you...
* purchase a stress ball - digging your nails into these when you feel urges can release a lot of tension and provide you with the same numbness cutting can.
* excercise - gives a feeling of accomplishment and confidence
* sleep - when do you most get the urges to cut? is it late at night? it was for me. so get to bed early and wake up feeling bright.
* hot chocolate - warm milk releases many feel good and relaxation thingywatsits. try it!

I got through without speaking to friends or family, if you want to talk to someone about it I suggest sites like this. See people in your situation just as I'm doing now, and be strong for someone else. It's a real booster in keeping your mind set on your goal.

And the last thing, guys at your age? Psssh, and this time in your life SO NOT WORTH THE EXTRA STRESS. You feel you have no control of your life, so concentrate extra hard on your schoolwork, lift your grades, find some direction and gain control of who you are as a person, before you try to share that with someone else. And believe me, once you have yourself under control, your lovelife will be a lot happier.

Hope I've improved your day! Feel free to email me if you'd like to talk further.

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(Rating: 5) thanks bunches =]
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