Let experience be your guide.....my experience! If you want serious advice from an adult go ahead....ASK away! With extraordinary interpersonal skills, I will respond to your questions respectfully, and give practical solutions and reasonable answers.
Gender: Female
Location: Texas
Occupation: teacher
Member Since: June 9, 2004
Answers: 86
Last Update: May 20, 2006
Visitors: 7194
Main Categories:
Work/School Relationships
Friendship
Love Life
View All
|
| |
|
This guy that I've been friends with for a couple of years just got divorced. He told me that he wants to get married to me. He has never had children and said he wants to start a family with me. My concern is that he is 45, 17 years older then me. If we started to have children, by the time my child was 18 he would be in his 60's!! I am also concerned because he is quite old fashioned, and would want me to be a stay at home mom. I just got a promotion at work, and I don't want to have to quit it so soon. I've only been with the company for 4 months. He also has a tendancy to treat me like a child, has a bad temper, and is very tight with his money. He's also very possesive of me. I don't know what to do. He would be a good father, and I know I'd be a good mother, but I don't think I'm ready to start a family. My job is too important to me right now. And he seems really desperate to have a child, he's not getting any younger. Does anyone have any advice? (link)
| |
His biological clock is ticking, so he is pushing you into marriage and kids before you are even engaged?! You say that he has a tendancy to treat you like a child, has a bad temper, and is very tight with his money. Well,let me tell you sister-girlfriend.....he won't be any more patient with a child than he is with you and kids are very expensive! Those are two serious things to consider. But let's go down to the very basic foundation of a good marriage and family: love and respect. Can you be happy with someone who treats you like a child? Will you be happy giving up a job that you really enjoy? You could become very resentful of him (and children) if you give up everything for someone else's happiness. I say, wait until you find someone that you are IN lOVE with.....there are other men who would also make good fathers. He sounds like a control freak to me.......be VERY careful not to be pressured into something that you are not ready for at this time in your life.
|
|
Rating: 5
| |
thankyou, your advice made a lot of sense. Why would I want to give up everything that's important to me just for his happiness? I am only 27 and have atleast another 10 years before my biological clock starts ticking. I think I should just wait to find a man that I'm really in love with who is willing to wait until I"M ready to start a family. You're awsome!
|
|