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Gender: Female
Location: Texas
Occupation: teacher
Member Since: June 9, 2004
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Last Update: May 20, 2006
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This might be kind of long, so bear with me please.(This is a real question..so don`t be rude)
About a year ago, my 23 year old cousin died.This guy was unbelivable. He was seriously like my second brother & he was soo funny. Anyways, I went to the funeral and saw all my family members there and you know, I started crying. Months went by & it seemed like I got over it. And I really did.
I have this picture of him(not even big at all) on my wall and I looked at it last night and just started crying. I mean, I stayed up all night crying for my cousin because I just barely realized that I'm not over my cousin's death. And the weird part is that I just started crying after I THOUGHT i was over his death. Totally weird I know. I couldn`t even go to school because I didn`t get any sleep.
I don`t really know what my question is, but I guess I`m asking how I can actually get over his death & cope with the fact that he isn`t coming back. I realize that he isn`t coming back, and I think that`s what makes me soo sad in the first place.Now I feel all depressed. Please help me. (link)
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When I say that I understand how you feel. I really do. My father died on Christmas morning 6 years ago. There had been a family argument between my dad and my older sister and he was so upset, he didn't want to celebrate Christmas as a family. I begged him to come to my home on Christmas Eve (for my sake) and promised that there would be no arguing. He and my mother came over to celebrate, we all had a great time, he went home, I called the next morning to wish him a "Merry Christmas", told him that I loved him very much, hung up the phone and he died 45 minutes later from a massive heart attack. I cried for days after my father died. Then when my mother's mental illness took over my focus (she was incapable of taking care of herself without Dad), I couldn't even grieve for my dad, because I was too busy with her problems and her needs. After a few weeks, I was able to talk about him without crying. I still missed him and was sad to be without him, but was going on with daily life. But then as suddenly as I seemed to adjust, any little thing that made me think of him would make me burst into tears. I guess what I am trying to say is that you never really "get over it", you just become less sensitive as time passes. I still get teary on Christmas and the holidays would depress me for years. In fact, this was the first Christmas that I really felt the spirit of the holiday. I did something that my dad used to do, to remember him, to honor him, to do something that would have made him proud of me. I bought Christmas gifts for a family of 8 children who were very poor and delivered them at 6:45 AM on Christmas morning, anonymously. They were left on the front porch and I never told them it was from me, but I heard them talking about it at the school where I teach. My dad used to buy things for needy children to show them that they mattered. Think of the wonderful things that you did with this cousin, even if it was just talking and hanging out. Share this with someone in his family, if you could. Smile about him. This sounds corny, but when alone, say it out loud, "I miss you and I love you. Thanks for being so good to me when you were in my life." I actually do this from time to time when I am thinking about my dad, in the car, when I am watching a sad movie, when I am trying to fall asleep some nights. You have a right to feel sad. Cry, hug your pillow, feel the sadness and then go wash your face (because the salty tears are bad for your skin!) and do something else that is for the living! Read, watch tv, call someone. The absolute best thing is to exercise believe it or not! I used to get on my exercise gear and either walk or ride my bike, sometimes having a good cry while actually working out! I rode my bike 17 miles one time when I was aching for the comfort that only a parent can give and when I was finished, I felt a sense of relief. I am so sorry about your loss and it is never easy to "get over" a death. Carry your cousin in your heart and never forget him, it is the best thing to have great memories of someone you admired. Good luck, Sweetheart.
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Rating: 5
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I am so sorry about your father. Your response made me think alot♥
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