E-mail:
lovang4u@yahoo.comGender:
FemaleYahoo:
lovang4u@yahoo.comMember Since:
March 14, 2004Answers:
567Last Update:
August 8, 2008Visitors:
41950Main Categories:
Love Life
Friendship
School
View All
about
What's up? Well, I'm sure like each and every other advice columnist is that, we all enjoy giving advice . I like to keep things real and you'll find out how real when you ask me a question . I absolutely love helping people . Hollah at me sometimes !!! Oh, and yahoo me . Goodness sakes knows that I could do with the mail.
advice
Alrighty. So my junior year of college I developed a most excellent friendship with this guy, a senior, who we'll call Joe. Joe and I got really close and I asked him to my prom, and we were both on a band trip for a month that summer, so eventually we got together. Joe went to college 2 hours from home and we managed to make the long distance thing work for a while. As much as I loved Joe, he wasn't the greatest boyfriend... he rarely called/IMed/e-mailed, and I sent letters all the time, never to receive any back. I visited him a few times and he came home once or twice.
I thought we were doing ok til I went to visit March my senior year and he was really distant, and then in the beginning of April (this would be 2005) he dumped me over the phone, kinda out of the blue. I found a few things online and assumed he cheated on me, blah blah, we had a fight, and made up, and I know now he didn't cheat on me, and we still get along, which is good because we have a tight-knit group of friends who still hang out together on breaks.
So the problem with this is, I'm still having problems getting over him. We went out for pretty much a year and a half, and I know that I deserve better treatment and more attention than what I got... but it's difficult to hang out with him without thinking back to our relationship, and I often get super jealous of other girls I suspect he's interested in. I don't want to believe he's over me, but I know that I'm fooling myself, and I feel like a really pathetic person. I know there's no easy way to solve this, but any advice on how to "get over" him as more than just a friend would be appreciated.
Oh, my God, I used to ask so many questions like this until I actually got over the person I was liking myself. To get over a person, it takes time. But it also takes acceptance of something that you've been denying. You have to find that out, then you have to find out what interested you in this guy the first place. What did you see in him that you want from any other man that you may perhaps want to be with? Think about that. That's what I had to do. You have to accept that it was never meant to be between you and this guy, and that it was only your dream. Your want for the qualities that you like in him, and those qualities which you wanted in your future man. He may have been the messanger for what you really wanted not your actual Cassanova.Take those qualities that you saw in him, and the ones that you didn't like in him, and find someone better. Because in reality doll, you could do a lot better or worse than him. It'll take time. But time, you have.
(Rating: 5) I honestly think that this is the best advice anyone could ever give me. Thank you infinitely.