When not at my hippie college I live in a tiny rural town 11 miles from the nearest traffic light. I love history and can tell you more about the sex lives of various historical figures than you'd ever want to know. I also collect socks.
Website: missing persons website
E-mail: good_128@hotmail.com
Gender: Female
Occupation: student
Age: 20
Member Since: December 20, 2005
Answers: 58
Last Update: September 3, 2006
Visitors: 4057
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I was in a realtionship for 4 1/2 years and was engaged to him for 6 months, when all of a sudden he wanted to end things. There was some things that happened in my childhood that I never told him, but I told him last night was happended, even though we are not together anymore. I was sexually abused as a child but it has stopped for almost 15 years. I am now 24. I still want this guy in my life, but I need help first. He did not leave me because I told him what happened. I just felt like he should know. Me and him have shared a lot of stuff, and even he agreed that some of the reasons he left me were because of how I acted, because of how I was treated as a child. I was wondering if there is anyway you can help me out. Any help would mean the world to me. Thank you for your time (link)
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I'm not exactly sure what you're asking -- how to get your fiance back or how to get over the abuse? So I've got answers for both of them:
1. The fiance would have to decide for himself whether he wants to renew his relationship with you. I don't think you should push him about it, as it's likely to scare him away. He might go back to you and he might not. If he does, though, make sure he's not coming back out of pity -- poor child, she was abused, I'll make her better, etc -- because that's not a good reason to date someone, let alone marry them.
2. There are many support groups for survivors of sexual abuse; in addition, you can also seek individual therapy. If you just google some key words like "sex abuse survivor" then you could find a lot of good websites with advice on how to handle the problem. I do applaud you for reaching out to your fiance and I hope you can reach out to others as well.
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