Hi!!I am Emily and i decided to give advice because i like helping people and see them happy...Others tell me that i am understanding and sociable. The only thing i know for sure is that i am possitive thinking! I have one sister and i am a very good friend with her. My best friends are Ann and Geogre. I share with them almost everything. I have a lot of friends and we go out together all the time. My hobby is acting and that's why i want to become an actress or an advisor.Of course i like giving advice. The last one is the best!!!
I like Justin Timberlake and Nick Carter very much because apart from their talent they are very hondsome too. I also like Britney and Alyssa Milano. I watch Charmed and Smalville but i like California teens very much too.
I think that we should smile more often and that's why this is my nickname!I also believe that everyone should be more spontaneous. Everyone should be a little bit more his/herself! And somethin else! A general advice from me to all you: Be you and live every minute in your life like being the last one... Only by doing it you will be really happy! Kisses!!!
Gender: Female
Location: Greece
Age: 15
Member Since: December 4, 2005
Answers: 59
Last Update: December 25, 2005
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All of my friends and family tell me that I am beautiful, and so pretty. But when I look in the mirror, I am like.."eww." I can't take it anymore, I feel disgusted at myself. When I first meet people, they go, "wow you are beautiful!" I don't know if they are telling the truth or not. I have had people come up to me and ask if I model. But when I look in the mirror, I just don't see it. I have a boyfriend, he is wonderful, but he never tells me that I am beautiful. I went to a dance with him and he calls me up after and says, "hey, sorry I forgot to say you looked really nice tonight." and well he never said I look pretty or anything. I just don't know what to do. Is there any way to gain confidence on your looks? I am very outgoing..but sometimes I get so self conscious that I feel like I just want to go home and stay in the house. I am pretty popular at my school so I know it isn't a social disorder thing, because I have no problem with making friends. I just am so self conscious. Does anybody know of a way to stop being this way?
-14/F (link)
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Of course!This is not that difficult as it seems. If you want to try you will do it!!! What happens to you is that you have genarally low self esteem and low self confidence.
Now,1) How to Feel Good When You Need to
Because self confidence and feeling good has a major 'hormonal' element, you can change the way you feel by re-living good times. If you can remember a time you felt really self confident, then excellent - use that! If not, then use a time you felt contented or happy. You could use a photo taken at such a time to remind you. This is just a start but an important one; taking deliberate control of your thoughts and emotions will have a huge impact on your self confidence and other areas of your life.
2) Beating Self Consciousness
Too much self consciousness is the No.1 enemy of self confidence. The trick is keeping your attention off yourself when you need to. Here's how...
a) When you feel self-conscious, (you can usually tell because you start to feel anxious), choose something outside of yourself to focus on and study it in detail. For example: examine a door, look at the different textures and shades of colour, wonder about who made it and how and so on. The important thing is that you're learning how to keep your attention off yourself.
It is a good idea to practise this technique in private first. Just sit quietly, practising focusing firstly on your own thoughts and then deliberately focusing outwards onto a picture or piece of furniture.
b) Social self confidence can be difficult to find sometimes because it is unclear what you are 'supposed to do'. In this event, concentrate on what your purpose in the situation is: whether you're there to...
- find out if you like the other people present
- make others feel comfortable
- find out some information
- make business contacts
- and so on...
It's much more difficult to feel self-conscious if your mind is occupied with a task.
People are often most comfortable with others when working towards a common goal. The common goal of socialising could be making friends, the exchange of mutually beneficial information, expanding your knowledge of different types of people... it could be whatever you want it to be! The key is to have an aim.
3) Watch Out for Undue Criticism - Especially Your Own!
Have you noticed that people will speak to themselves in a way they would never speak to others? You know the sort of thing - you break a glass and it's "You stupid idiot. You can't do anything right can you?"
Criticism that leaves the receiver feeling upset or depressed is rarely useful.
Challenging your own assumptions about yourself and other people can really help build self confidence. Here's a few to get you started:
Those confident-looking people have bad moments too - you just don't get to hear about them!
If you feel under-confident, it doesn't mean other people can tell. They're often too caught up with their 'own stuff' to notice!
If you catch yourself saying things to yourself like "I'm no good at anything" then rest assured, you're wrong about that. Everyone can compose a sentence, get successfully to the store, eat without choking and do a million other things. Negative thinking can make things seem hopeless when they rarely are.
Don't let yourself make sweeping statements about yourself - in the long run it is this sort of thing that can really damage your self image. If this happens, say to yourself calmly and gently, "Hold on a minute, that's not true". If you can come up with some evidence that disproves the sweeping statement, then even better. It may take a bit of effort at first, but the impact on your level of self confidence is huge.
Building self esteem is not just about thinking good of yourself, it's about not thinking bad for no reason!
Just because you have felt bad about yourself in the past doesn't mean you're always going to feel that way. I have seen hundreds of people surprise themselves once they have learned exactly how to build confidence in themselves in such a way that it stays built!
The important thing is to get away from thinking "Why did that happen?" or "Why do I feel this way?" and instead move towards "How would I like to feel?", "In what situations do I feel confident?" or "What do I need to learn in order to have better self confidence in this situation?"
And something else.Try to make other feel good. Give advice or help others. And SMILE! When you feel bad smile! That helps A LOT!
P.S. The above solutions are not mine! So be sure that it works! I hope i helped! Kisses!
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