Hi, I'm a young 50 year old father of three (two sons one 5 and one 21, and a daughter of 31) from Romford, England. I have a lot of experience of life from both the good and bad sides, the good side when I was singing in bands almost every night and my life was one long party, and the bad side having to admit I'm an alcoholic and doing a hard rehab/detox programme (sober for 10 years now) then having a heart attack and a broken marriage to deal with. I am now in a good place in my own mind and want to help others as much as I am able to.
E-mail: supernaut@ntlworld.com
Gender: Male
Location: Romford, London, England
Occupation: Unemployed
Age: 50
Member Since: November 19, 2005
Answers: 63
Last Update: July 30, 2007
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I am concerned for my Grandson's emotional well-being. He is a step-child at both his parents homes - they share him on a weekly - weekend basis, and have good communication- and good relationship with one another. The boy is 8. He is getting into trouble at school: being sassy and not following instructions. At his mom's he is very sassy to her, and gets in trouble with his step-dad for this behavior. Lots of time-outs and missed activities. He has a 2yr. old half brother and an infant half-sister at his mom's house. At his father's he is the only child, although his step-mom is pregnant (he doesn't know yet).
This school year he began a "new" habit of not putting on underware when he gets himself dressed for school. On Friday's I picked him up after school, and asked him to change before his dad came to pick him up from my home, after getting off work. He made an excuse about playing in the school yard and falling, which got his underware wet from the grass. I collected his school clothes to wash them and asked for his soiled underware. He said he left them in his desk. I do not think this is so. I believe he did not wear any to school, again.
He spends a lot of time with me and his grandad and he weas all his clothing items here - also at his dad's house. Could his not wearing his underware signal han attempt to get help for whatever is frustrating him at his mom's and at school? (link)
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As a seperated father with a teenage son, and having talked to others about this kind of thing myself, I would say that one thing that seems to happen a lot is that the child starts to view whichever parent they spend the week days with as being almost a 'bad guy' because they are the one's constantly telling them to clean their room, or get stuff done for school, and things like that, whereas the other parent doesn't seem so bad because they only have the child for a short period of time and often tend to spend that time doing more fun things with them. They need to work together to have a united approach, maybe both couples should meet up to discuss the problem and try to work out a solution between them. I think you also have to remember that kids start growing up a lot earlier these days and they start going through the usual growing pains and angst before their parents did. Try not to be too hard on the kid, remember this isn't easy for him.
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Rating: 5
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You are right. The mom has him for the "unfun" stuff, but the parents do collaborate and while he's in his father's charge the problems from school and his other(mom's) home come with him. It is just that he is spending way too much time being "in trouble." Too much negativity and not nearly enough "positive" time. This worries me and I see sadness in his eyes. I have tried many times to encourage "special time" as this helped while we raised our children, but they just "don't get it!"
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