Hi, I'm a young 50 year old father of three (two sons one 5 and one 21, and a daughter of 31) from Romford, England. I have a lot of experience of life from both the good and bad sides, the good side when I was singing in bands almost every night and my life was one long party, and the bad side having to admit I'm an alcoholic and doing a hard rehab/detox programme (sober for 10 years now) then having a heart attack and a broken marriage to deal with. I am now in a good place in my own mind and want to help others as much as I am able to.
E-mail: supernaut@ntlworld.com
Gender: Male
Location: Romford, London, England
Occupation: Unemployed
Age: 50
Member Since: November 19, 2005
Answers: 63
Last Update: July 30, 2007
Visitors: 8865
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Well I'm a 16 year old girl.
Ok. To be blunt, ever since I was about 6 I have been praying that my parents or someone would abuse me or give me a reason to run away and never come back. I am trying to end this cycle but nothing has helped so far. I guess ever since I was little I never felt good enough for someone to love me. When I was younger I was always causing trouble in order for them to get sick of me and tell me what I already believed was true. Is there something I can do to end this cycle? (link)
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Life can be very difficult when you suffer from self loathing, which is what you sound like you are suffering from, I know that because I also suffer from it. It lead me to live a life almost entirely of lies and pretending to be things that I wasn't, and also lead to me ending up as an alcoholic. I got sober just over two years ago and have spent much of the last two years trying to come to terms with my self loathing, it has been very difficult and took me so far down that I even attempted suicide, and I'm not completely there yet as far as dealing with it is concerned but I feel that I'm through the worst of it. Please get some professional help and advice before this situation gets any worse, you have a lot of living ahead of you and you need to start to enjoy it.
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Rating: 4
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I don't see how it can get worse. I'm most likely (though it hasn't been confirmed by a doctor or professional)bipolar. I'm suicidal and depressed.
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