BY no means am I always right or know what to do. However, I will tell you what I would do in your situation and what I know to be the most honest and helpful advice that I can give.
Thanks for asking,
Honestymatters
Gender: Female
Location: Las Vegas Nevada
Occupation: Office Administration/Single MOM
Age: 31
Member Since: October 29, 2005
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Okay...I've realized a couple days ago that I really, really like this boy I know (I'll call him Bill)...and the same day I came to that conclusion, I was told by a very good friend of mine that Bill has something for her...and that she likes Bill too. (She didn't know that I liked him, of course)...Today, I found that they have officially paired up...and I didn't really do a good job of hiding my disapointment, because "Bill" asked me if somebody made me upset...I said "Not intentionally"...he then asked if it was him that had done anything to make me upset...(Did he suspect or know that I like him??)...Now, I'm not sure if I should tell him that I really like him or not, because I do NOT want to cause any discomfort between me and the two of them, because I care deeply for both of them...but I don't want him to feel like he's doing anything wrong, either. I think if I told them (Or just him) "Hey, I'm disapointed, but I still support you guys", that it would (maybe) make things better...
I really need answers fast on this one, guys...
S. (link)
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Dear S.,
The truth will set you freeeeeeeeeeee!
Tell your friend that you like "Bill" too but never said anything because you love her and do not want to do anything to get between them. Tell her that you still want to hang out with them, but feel a tag a long friend will be annoying for them. Let her know that because she is with him, he is OFF LIMITS!! But add in a joking manner that if she breaks up with him and he shows interest in you, that you would consider dating him. Wish her the best with him. Give her your support.
Tell "Bill" that you are not mad at him at all. Tell him that you were just taken back suddenly by hearing that your good friend began dating the guy you liked. Tell him that you are happy for them and wish them the best. Then ask him if he has any friends that may want to double date sometime, because you feel awkward being the third wheel.
The fact is that if they stay together and become close, eventually they will end up doing things without you. If you want to do things with them and not feel awkward, you will need a "Bill" of your own. You just discovered a couple of days ago that you liked him. This means that you have not liked him in "that way" for very long. It is possible to find someone else to like just as much. As I read another Advicenator say "God" has plan for you. Maybe his plan was for you to meet one of "Bill's" friends.
The point is that you must be honest with everyone at all times. Never keep your feelings bottles up either. Never ever do anything to hurt your friends (like stealing her boyfriend). That is immoral and wrong. Just be their friends and find your own man. IF "Bill" happens to fall for you in the process it is not your fault, but he must be the one to leave your good friend on his own, without your influence. Do not betray your friend. As long as they are going out, he is OFF LIMITS!!
I hope that you find what you are looking for.
Sincerely,
Honestymatters
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Rating: 5
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I apologize for the late response.
Thank you very much for your advice! I will consider your words very carefully and see what happens...
S
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