BY no means am I always right or know what to do. However, I will tell you what I would do in your situation and what I know to be the most honest and helpful advice that I can give.
Thanks for asking,
Honestymatters
Gender: Female
Location: Las Vegas Nevada
Occupation: Office Administration/Single MOM
Age: 31
Member Since: October 29, 2005
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Ok well see I am a 13/f and my dad like hits me all the time with like eather a wooden stick or his hands or whatever he has in reach and it usually leaves bruises.....and like he always tells me when he does it that I could never call the police and get him in trouble because he will just say that it's his way of "punishing me". And like I always ask him why doesnt he just ground me or something else and he always says that he thinks this will work better.....but I really don't think it does. What should I doo?? Is this considered abuse or not??
thanxxx (link)
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Dear Abuse?????,
I agree with what toXic x baBii x3 said. Yes, what he is doing is abuse. If he needs to punish you, then he needs to find another way to do it. Hitting you anywhere but your bottom and with anything other than his hand is abuse. If he is leaving bruises then he is just leaving proof of abuse. Regardless of what anyone else here has said, it is against the law and you can press charges against him. Although this may cause him to rage against you even more. By law, anyone who brings you physical harm is committing assault with bodily harm, as is punishable with jail time. Anyone who threatens to bring you physical harm is guilty of attempted assault and and harassment. By law you can have a restraining order put against him.
The punishment should fit the crime. What things are you doing to need punishment?
This is my suggestion, because it is obvious he has you too scared to call the police: (I have given this advice to others as well)
Keep a diary of every time he hits you. Make sure you write down exactly what you did to set him off. DO NOT LIE, or exaggerate. This will make you look like the liar and no one will believe you. Keep the diary in a safe hidden spot that he can never find. Every time he leaves a bruise, take picture of it and what he used to hit you with, put the date and time on the photo and then hide it with your diary. This is gathering proof of the type of abuse you are enduring. Your diary and photos should go hand in hand. For every photo, there should be an entry in your diary that describes what you did to make him mad, and what punishment he gave you. See, your diary, if put together right can be evidence in a court of law. Now the next step to ensure you are believed is to have witnesses to the abuse. Immediately after being abused call someone and tell them about it. Also, little tape recorders are good witnesses too. You can pick one up at any radio shack. Keep this on you and record when ever you are around him. Keep these tapes with your diary as well.
It is not illegal for you to tape any thing he does that involves dealing with you. It is only when neither party is aware of the conversation that it is not allowed as evidence in court. Only one party has to know they are being taped for it to be admitted into evidence. You know that you are being taped and that is good enough.
You need to get proof and documentation of the abuse. When you have recorded like two or three months of this behavior, take all of your photos, tapes and diary to the nearest Child Protective Services. Tell them you are afraid what he is going to do to you when he finds out that you told someone. They will place in a safe environment, you can tell them of a relative you may feel safe with. CPS will always try to place children with family first.
Things may get rough, but I think you are strong and have been through a lot already. Just remember that things may get worse before they get better, but at least you will not be getting abused.
Try not to make him mad anymore, if he just gets mad for no reason then you need to stand up for yourself and start keeping the diary. I hope things work out for you, and good luck.
Remember to stay honest and keep you head up. I hoped I helped :)
Sincerely,
Honestymatters
P.S. If the abuse gets any worse, get out of there. Stay with a friend or a relative and definitely report it to the police.
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