I have a Masters degree in Clinical Psychology from Capella University and an undergraduate in Psychology from Rutgers University. I am currently writing a book about relationships, self-esteem and communication problems. I have answered questions on EVERY topic..NOTHING is too "weird" for me to answer. The juicier, the better. I am a former model who decided I could do more good in the world if I became a part of the solution. I am open and check my email daily. ASK AWAY!!!
E-mail: open4advice@hotmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: New Jersey
Occupation: Counselor/Therapist/Educator
Age: 32
Member Since: November 1, 2005
Answers: 26
Last Update: November 8, 2005
Visitors: 3833
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19/f
I met someone who was only in my hometown for a week, and we kissed, talked, and really connected. I seriously fell for him.
Of course, some people will think we were only together as rebounds, because he lost a friend and I was getting out of a serious relationship with someone. Regardless, he made me feel happy and alive.
I gave him my email address and phone number, he gave me his favorite hat. It's been over a week, and I have not heard from him. Should I just forget him, or make an effort to contact him?
I've been searching for a phone number/email but my search so far has come up fruitless. I don't know what to do. He's in the military and I would just love to talk to him before he has to go to Iraq again. However, I don't want to completely freak him out and seem "stalkerish." So even if I found a number, I don't know if I'd have the guts to call it.
It worries me that he hasn't tried contacting me yet. Maybe he thinks that since I was going through a lot that he should just back off. Maybe he felt nothing for me and really is a jerk. I don't know. Should I be patient, or make a move?
I am trying to forget about him and trying not to make the relationship anymore than what it was. It's hard because I keep thinking about him. I just need to tell him thanks (the reason is very personal and complicated so I don't want to go into detail.) Maybe if I could just tell him that, then I could move on. But for now, I feel like I have something I seriously need to get off my chest and it's driving me insane not being about to explain things!! (link)
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It would not seem "stalker-ish" if you called to say hello at least once. That way if he had any aprhension or thoughts that maybe you were not interested, your call can put those ideas to rest. Men like to be "wooed" alittle too. But after your initial call and he still doesn't reach out to you, then you should leave the ball in his court. A relationship, even a friendship is a two way street and after you "cross the street" to amke contact, he should reciprocate. Don't ever wonder or second guess why a man isn't calling or what he may be thinking because many times we are way off base and we drive ourselves crazy trying to come up with "why this" and "maybe this happend" type of scenerios. The bottom line is that it started and now it is stalled, you can make a first move BUT BE COOL about it whenyou talk to him. If he gives you a song and dance, is cold towards you , doesn't make conversation with you on the phone, the take the hint and be cool. Sometimes also there is no need to expalin and it sounds to me that when you say that you just want to say "thanks for what he did" is just an excuse for justification in your head to be able to make the calland not feel foolish about it. Your only justification aside from wanting to say thank you is that you both shared an intimate time and if you are not the kind of person who goes around being intimate with everyone, then that special time, meant a lot to you. I am not trying to downplay whatever went on that is too long and complicated to write down but make sure that after youg et whateve off of your chest that you feel you need to, then if he doesn't call you again or become a part of your life that you will be able to look at it as whatever it was and begin to move on. Good Luck!!
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Rating: 5
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Thank you. Saying thanks an excuse? Probably. Really I just want to hear his voice again.
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