I have a Masters degree in Clinical Psychology from Capella University and an undergraduate in Psychology from Rutgers University. I am currently writing a book about relationships, self-esteem and communication problems. I have answered questions on EVERY topic..NOTHING is too "weird" for me to answer. The juicier, the better. I am a former model who decided I could do more good in the world if I became a part of the solution. I am open and check my email daily. ASK AWAY!!!
E-mail: open4advice@hotmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: New Jersey
Occupation: Counselor/Therapist/Educator
Age: 32
Member Since: November 1, 2005
Answers: 26
Last Update: November 8, 2005
Visitors: 3836
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I'm a 16 year old girl who's been dating this guy I'm fully in love with for around 7 - 8 months. We're both still virgins but we've talked about losing our virginity to each other. Neither one of us has EVER did anything sexually with another person, so I'm pretty sure neither of us have any STDS or AIDS. So far, we've experienced everything but sex with each other. We've considered all the risks & have thought long and hard about this, but mind you, we are prepared and we do have a brain unlike half the teenage population. We both know that we are fully ready to do this in our minds & hearts. But, I have a question. Even though, we aren't married & we're gonna lose our virginity to each other.. and though we've been together for a while & are planning on beging together for a long time after this (possibly even marriage later on, but you never know what may happen).. do you think this is okay? Like sometimes it worrys me because I know in my heart that it's a sin to have sex before marriage, but we've talked about it & with our friends as well, and we all figured out that if you ask God for his forgiveness, he will accept it. I just want opinions on this.. do you think it's okay to have sex at 16 if you're mature & ready enough? I mean, what's the point in waiting until you're married? I know one reason is because it can be a sin and then another is because there's a possibility of having a baby, but if you're sexually "safe" with condoms & birth control, then you're chances are very slim to none for having a child. So any opinions or thoughts is welcome on this.. don't be afraid to express how you feel, it won't bother me. Thank you all very much! :) (link)
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I will be honest. I had a serious...SERIOUS boyfriend at 16 and I KNEW we were in love, mature and would be together forthe long haul. We discussed everything and yes, I was a virgin as well. I knew it was a sin in the eyes ofGod but I went ahead and did it anyway. Like you said "What is the use of waiting until youa re married". Well, he and I stayed together until I was 23 and then it was over. During that time, this lovely boy who loved me so much began to change and turned out to be someone that I wish I didn't waste my time on. (Not to say that your boyfriend will turn out to be that way). I was a very mature 16 year old-honors classes and the like- but I just did it because I REALLY wanted to..I mean REALLY BADLY WANTED TO. I say all this to say-1.I know where you are coming from with your confusion (I used to be a Sunday school teacher, I sang in the church choir and I believed in God at an early age) and 2. Think about it alittle more. I mean, sex is like a diamond..very precious. BUT if everyone had diamonds (just like everyone is having sex), then they would be worthless. Think of your virginity and sex that way. If you really love him,just give it alittle more time. If it happends, then, it was meant to but believe me..the more you think about it, the more you want it. Try to concentrate on other things for a little while longer. You and your boyfriend have done other things so I guess you and he feel that, what else is left?? Plenty else is left...after you have sex and do it again and again, ask yourself that same question again.."WHAT ELSE IS LEFT NOW"??
Keep me posted as to what you decide.
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Rating: 5
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wow, thank you. you are exactly right
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