BY no means am I always right or know what to do. However, I will tell you what I would do in your situation and what I know to be the most honest and helpful advice that I can give.
Thanks for asking,
Honestymatters
Gender: Female
Location: Las Vegas Nevada
Occupation: Office Administration/Single MOM
Age: 31
Member Since: October 29, 2005
Answers: 72
Last Update: November 16, 2005
Visitors: 7137
Main Categories:
Work/School Relationships
Love Life
Families
View All
|
| |
ok, im 13 years old and i have had this boyfriend for about 7 months now. he is having majior family problems and doesnt know how to deal with them anymore. he is one of those people who keep things bottled up inside of him. i told him he could always talk to me about it but i dont think he is comfortable talking to anyone about it. well, he is getting like really depressed and he told me he doesnt know if he can handle it all anymore. he is thinking about running away or killing himself. i told him not to and i pleaed for him not to but i dont think it is getting through to him. he told me that the last thing he wanted to do was hurt me but he is REALLY anrgy. i dont know what to say or what to do. he told me if he does anything he'll come to school and say good bye to me and stuff. PLEASE PLEASE help me! im so scared!
-Leah- (link)
|
Dear Leah,
You say his depression stems from his home life. Encourage him to find ways to deal with what's going on at home. Are his parents abusive? You say he won't talk to you about what's going on inside him and that is natural. Just the fact that he said something to you is a cry for help. He doesn't want to kill himself, he just feels that he cannot cope anymore. GET YOUR PARENTS INVOLVED. Talk to your parents and ask them what you should do. Then ask them if they will help you talk to him. The worst thing to do is not talk to anyone about him threatening to kill himself. Tell them what he has said to you and ask if they can give him a place to run, when he runs away from home. Sit down at the Kitchen table with him and your parents, this will hopefully make him feel that someone will listen to him. Talking to you about his problems will help him cope with issues at home. You are in no position to do anything to remove him from the situation, but your parents can. That's all it really is. He feels that he can no longer cope with the problems at home. The truth is, if his parents don't know about how he feels they may not want to listen. The most important thing is giving him a support group. One person is not enough, but it is a start. If you cannot go to your parents then maybe another family member that is an adult. The point is, you need to tell someone that can do something about helping him. Medication to deal with his depression is not going to fix his problems at home. Trust me I have been on the meds and they just make you numb, but you are still depressed. He needs a change of environment. Running away from home is better than killing himself. Try and find someplace safe for him to go. What ever happens it is going to be tough road, and he may even be angry with you at first for saying anything. You need to get it out of him exactly what is going on at home that has him so depressed. If talking to his parents is out of the question, then leave them out of it until he is in a safe place and has time to clear his head. The negative atmosphere that may result by confronting them with this may push him too far. He needs to be out of their reach to recover. His parents may make things worse by lashing out at him for talking about the problems at home. This will only send him farther over the edge. Here are a few links to look into. I wish I could help more, but I do not know everything surrounding his sadness. Without all the info it is hard to say what comes next. If all else fails, get out the phone book and look up the name of a psychiatrist and make an anonymous call asking for help. They have several resources and may even be able to remove him from home.
Try this one first,
http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/whattodo.htm
http://suicidehotlines.com/
http://www.befrienders.org/info/index.php
Here is one for your parents to get info as well.
http://www.parenthelpcenter.org/aboutus
If these don't help, try doing a search on google, Keywords "Suicide Help" there are 36 million sites touching this subject. Good luck and write me anytime you want.
Sincerely,
Honestymatters.
|
|
Rating: 5
| |
wow, thanks. and thanks for the websites. i really needed it.
|
|