BY no means am I always right or know what to do. However, I will tell you what I would do in your situation and what I know to be the most honest and helpful advice that I can give.
Thanks for asking,
Honestymatters
Gender: Female
Location: Las Vegas Nevada
Occupation: Office Administration/Single MOM
Age: 31
Member Since: October 29, 2005
Answers: 72
Last Update: November 16, 2005
Visitors: 7115
Main Categories:
Work/School Relationships
Love Life
Families
View All
|
| |
I'm 25, male.
Theres this woman I like, Kim (20), who stays in a studenthouse, Sunday I went to visit, about to walk in the back door (frontdoors a mision) when roommate Joe openes the door and stands IN the door, telling me that they are busy studying or something, so I push past and say "then i'll just say hi and bye", two steps from Joe busy making tea stands Kim, with a pissed-off expresion on her face, I just smiled at her saying hi (thinking wtf)... after a minute she warms up to me and acts her old self.
Thought about this a while, yesterday I send her a sms saying that i thought it was pretty childish to get other people to send her troubles away.
Later we talk on the phone and she freaks, asking me how I could believe that she would ask her friend to send me away, that she NEVER told Joe to do anything of the kind and didn't know abaout it, that she doesn't need this extra shit in her life and threw a few other pots and pans my general direction and killed the conversation without listering.
I've always told her to tell me things straight, no matter if she thought it would hurt me, and that it would hurt more later on if she didn't.
If she needed some time alone she knows that I won't take it personally if she told me that herself.
One of the things I like about her is that shes not stupid, she was standing 2 steps away hearing everything, if I didn't bardge in I wouldn't have know that she was standing there, besides I not really friends with Joe.
I'm not stupid, I was honest with myself AND to her about how I feel and how I saw things.
Anybody willing to give some advice please, I could use some perspective on this, thanks in advance (link)
|
Dear Believe in myself,
First, remember Kim is only 20. She is still a girl and will do girlish things. You say she was two feet away from Joe when he said they were busy? In that case, she heard him try and stop you from coming in the door. So when he said she did not know Joe had done that, she is lying to you. Then when you bring up the situation later she becomes defensive. This is a sign of guilt. She is avoiding the subject to keep from being honest with you.
Hummmmmmm You know, just because someone is smart doesn't mean they won't lie. I would say this girl is not being honest with you. I would guess that she doesn't know how to handle that fact that she almost got caught. She sounds childish and is probably going to continue to play games.
Just pay attention to her excuses, liars cannot keep track of their own lies very well. Always talk to her in person about situations like the one on Sunday. Her body language will give her away immediately if she is lying to you. Her posture will shift away from you and she will not be able to look you in the eyes.(unless she is good at lying)She will become defensive, like she did on the phone. Also she may bring her hands to her face and fiddle with something like her hair, ear or jewelry. She may even try to cover up her mouth or look down at the ground.
You can avoid childish games in the future by dating women in their 30's or 40's. They have already played their games and are less likely to have a "Joe" hanging around the house. Hahahaha.
That was a joke to lighten your mood. I hoped it worked.
I suspect that you already believe Kim is lying to you. Go with your gut feeling, it's usually correct. You should never second guess yourself. Doing so will always lead to the bad choices in life. Good Luck
Sincerely,
Honestymatters
|
|
Rating: 5
| |
Thanks, can't blame her else i would be a hipocrite, i was 20 too.
|
|