BY no means am I always right or know what to do. However, I will tell you what I would do in your situation and what I know to be the most honest and helpful advice that I can give.
Thanks for asking,
Honestymatters
Gender: Female
Location: Las Vegas Nevada
Occupation: Office Administration/Single MOM
Age: 31
Member Since: October 29, 2005
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I won't really be shocked of nobody answers this, because it feels so unanswerable. But, my sister had a friend in my grade, and the friend talked really bad about my sister. So I told her it was bugging me, and she was really rude to me about it and used profanity in front of people at school. I ended up crying in the hall, and the next day my sister talks to her again when she knew I stuck up for her in a crowd of people. In other words, she doesn't care, I saw her talking to the girl today and I just wanted to scream and cry. Theres really no ending to her selfishness. I can't tell anyone, because it's a very long story, my mom doesn't care, my dad has no control. I'm just wondering how I can deal with my sister and mom treating me like crap without just screaming at them like always. It hurts to know that someone you stuck up for never even cared. What is the best way I can cope with this? (link)
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Dear Unaswerable,
I agree with some of the other Advicenators when it comes to talking to your sister about her choice in friends. Beyond that I think you should keep your distance from her and her friends. The negativity is rubbing off onto you. Anyone who yells and uses profanity has serious anger issues, you were just a way to vent them. Let your sister learn the hard way. Don't try and stand up for her, she obviously doesn't need you to. Get out and make your own friends but keep your life separate from hers. She will soon learn that girl is a backstabber.
I feel for you with the whole mom thing, but "screaming at them like always" tells me that there is a lot of yelling. You feel like no one is listening to you, or treating you badly. Try this: instead of going off in a yelling fit, or arguing with them, keep your mouth shut. Say nothing. Grab your notebook, go to a place of peace for you. Your room, a park bench, the library or where ever it may be (some place where you can calm down without any of them disrupting you). Then write down on paper how they made you feel. Write a letter to each one of them that made you feel bad. Now this is going to be hard, but you can do it, break the pattern and be stronger than they are. It sounds to me like their lives are out of control. Choose your words wisely. Do not be rude or use profanity. (Any negativity will escalate to another fight) Do not put anyone down, just tell them how they make you feel. Make sure to remind them of how much you love them and you are tired of being treated like that. Above all be honest. Spend more time around people who do not make you feel badly. Keep up with your school work and focus on things that make you happy. Take up a hobby that requires a lot of your time, but stay in school and focus on your life, not your sister's, OK. Take care of yourself and if you ever need me I am here! GOOD LUCK
Sincerely,
Honestymatters
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Rating: 5
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Thank you for your thought out and reasonable answer. To be honest, its what I've been doing, well, most of the time. I keep silent when I can, and I'll have to learn the hard way too, because I keep thinking that they will do something, but then I get knocked down. Maybe this will be my final fall. Thank you again.
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