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Q: Ok soo I dont know where else to really turn now. My boyfriend moved back to his home state, which is 3 1/2 hours from where I live, and we broke up 3 days before he did to "make things easier" or so he says. He didnt want to try a long distance relationship b/c he thought it would be too hard. Well, he is/was the love of my life... I spent the whole summer with him. He was everything to me and he didnt even say good bye when he left which crushed me. Well my life has been going down hill since. I use to be an "a" student, but now my grades are consisting of "c" and "d"... I'm missing school beyond no measure, I've gotten kicked outta my house, I've made my mother cry several times (which is bad b/c my mother is hard to upset that bad), I even had to buy my first pregnancy test (was negative...), I've started to become everything I never wanted to be. I dont know what is up with me, I hate him so much yet my heart is screaming for him... I dont want to give up b/c I love him so much, but its one sided and somethign else kinda love... Any suggestions to how to deal with these feelings would be GREATLY appreicated.. I rate high!
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I really feel for you as I went through almost the exact same thing a few years ago. My boyfriend moved away and broke up suddenly and I really was a mess and started acting all crazy. Its really the worse. Here's what I did that got me through....
Just stop for a second and take a deep breath and consider this:
1. Who are you really hurting? Yourself, your family, people you love.
2. Is any of this behavior in any way helping you get over your boyfriend or get him back? No. didn't think so.
3. Long term, if you don't have him, what do you have? A lot. More than you know. You have an incredible future ahead of you if you get back on track. Clearly you are smart, with the grades you get in school. You are a caring person with the capacity to love and to be loved. Those things, brains and heart will be the things that will get you through the tough stuff and will bring you great things.
Look, he's either going to realize his loss and call you or he won't. There is no way to control other people, but you can control yourself...Allow yourself to have a good life and to try and be happy. Its hard, but know deep in your heart that you are going to be ok whatever happens with him.
Tell your mom what's going on and why you are feeling the way you are feeling. My mom was awesome during my bad break up once she knew what was going on.
Best of luck. Keep me posted. Trust me, after this guy I never dated a guy who broke my heart again and found and married the coolest nicest guy ever. And that guy is still alone.
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Is it wrong to agree with you on all of those but somehow I can't find the way to just get over him. Maybe it was the way things were ended and I feel like there was no closure... either way I just feel like I hate him soo much and I know deep down that I have to let go, but I dont want to. Lately, I've really been thinking about "fighting" for it only because the stupid saying "fight for what you love and if you want to keep fighting, fight for it" is stuck in my head. I'm one of those things happen for a reason, but this I just cant grasp. I've told my mom everything and she hasn't really talked to me. I mean yeah she's been giving me some slack with things, but she still expects me to live as though I was before he was in my life... I wish life was like a fairy tale, sounds like you found one.
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Just some common sense advice in this crazy messed up world.
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Info
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Gender: Female Location: New York, NY Member Since: October 8, 2005 Answers: 156 Last Update: February 9, 2006 Visitors: 12087
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