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Gender: Female
Age: 17
Member Since: July 12, 2005
Answers: 7
Last Update: July 12, 2006
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Alright, I'm 16 and I have been dating my bf for about 2 and 1/2 weeks. Everything has been going pretty good. I feel like I've known him forever and we are falling head over heels for eachother. His family loves me and my family loves him. It's been perfect. But it seems that everytime we hang out little things bug me about him. Like his friends for example. Most of them play girls and he acts a little different around me when they are with him. Another thing I don't care for is that he can be pretty insensitive about my feelings and is pushy about things. He says and does things and doesn't think about how it might be taken the wrong way. Like yesterday my twin sister pissed him off so he kiddingly yelled at her and then when she said a sarcastic comment back he went over to her, turned her over, and started punching and slapping her ass real hard. And I found it extremely weird and inappropriate because whenever I think of someone grabbing, slapping, or punching someones ass its usually someone they are into, because he does the same thing when we play fight. So it totally disgusted and pissed me off. When he did that it made me offended and mad. My last bf would walk by girls at the mall when I was with him and smack their ass but I never said anything about how it annoyed and upset me because I figured that if I let out how I felt that it might screw things up. Even today we got in a sort of fight over the way things were going between us. As in how fast we were moving physically. It is always me who intiates these small skirmishes and that's what worries me. Most of the issues I have with him happen because I have been through alot of shit with guys in the past and I try to protect myself by not putting up with shit. I just don't want to be the person that fights about shit all the time and feels like an overreacter. But I know that if I keep things to myself that it will end up building up and building up and the issues will never get solved. So is there any way that I can relieve these issues without feeling like I might be causing my relationship to self-destruct? (link)
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First thing, guys are guys. Most guys act differently around their guy friends than their girlfriends. It's just how it is sometimes. Secondly, because guys are guys, they can often say things in ways that could be taken the wrong way and don't really care/don't think about the consiquences. So for that all I can ask is do you think he means for it to hurt you or affect you like it does? Is he saying it that way because he knows it can be mistaken and he wants that? Make a decision about his intentions because they are so much more important than anything he actually says. Third, he's probably just being a guy (again) with your sister. Maybe twins turn him on...I don't know. Anyway just tell him to quit being an ass and either be exclusive with you and quit touching other girls or just leave. I know you don't wanna mess up yalls relationship, but its really not a good relationship in the first place if he doesn't respect you enough to quit actin horney all the time with other girls...anyway...hope I helped and best of luck!!
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Rating: 5
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Thanks a ton! Your advice really helped. I put my foot down and showed him how I was feeling and so far he has been respecting my feelings in general. I figured he was just doing stupid things and saying dumb shit because he didn't really think of how it could be taken or understood. So I feel comfortable with staying with him. I questioned him with the sister thing, and he said he thinks of her as a sister and was just "play" fighting, but I let him know that his actions made it seem like more, whether he meant it to or not. And he took my warning and has stopped.
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