Member Since: June 21, 2005
Answers: 261
Last Update: August 12, 2005
Visitors: 18450
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Heyy, I wanted to ask you a question b/c you have good ratings, and you're a guy.
Let me tell you the reason I'm having a problem first: I go to a mostly girls school and so I never really had the chance to converse with guys, and I don't really know how to talk to them. And I am 17 years old if that helps :)
1) Is it weird for a girl to just randomly walk up to a guy in public and just start a random conversation??
2) How come if a guy sees a "hot girl" he'll just go straight up to her and talk to her, but if he sees a nice girl who's a little overweight he won't talk to her?
Ok I think that's it. I've never had a boyfriend (unfortunately) and I wanted to know how to go about meeting new people. Thanks a lot. (link)
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Lol, I'm actually a really bad person to ask this as I am somewhat socially inept, so I'll approach this from 2 perspectives - academically, and my own point of view (means it'll be long).
1) Yes and no. If she's uncomfortable, it feels weird. If she's confident, it's not as likely to feel weird. As far as /being/ weird or not... let me put it this way. "Weird" is that which does not follow suit with the rest of society. Our society comes from some very chauvanistic roots in many respects. One of them is that a girl is not supposed to make moves, but wait for the guy to do so. Which I think is utterly inane, but that's beside the point.
The point is, society is only just getting to the point where it's no longer rare to see a woman approach a man, so in many respects it can easily still be seen as weird.
As for me, I'd love it if a woman just walked up to me and said something along the lines of "I felt like coming over and introducing myself just so I could talk to you." Then again, I'm rather weird like that. I also believe a woman should, if she has any desire to do so, feel 100% free to be the one to take the initiative. But that's probably somewhat due to the fact that I'm a little bit of a coward when it comes to these types of things (with the role reversed) because I really don't know what to do. However, the best advice I think a person can give on that (what to do, say, yadda) is "just be yourself" because if you're trying to be someone else, and they start to like you, they're actually starting to like someone else, not you.
2) All men are pigs. Including me. Now, of course, I mean that to be taken with a grain of salt in that there are varying degrees.
Men are sex-driven - they derive satisfaction from the physical aspect of a relationship more so than women (where women derive satisfaction from the emotional apsect moreso than men), on average. They're also less apt to consider anything other than physical appearance when it comes between a number of women who they do not know.
In other words, the statement "God only gave men enough blood to think with one head at a time" has some truth to it - rather than going after a mildly less attractive woman and spreading things out a bit, they all go after the more attractive woman (if you watch 'A Beautiful Mind' you'll see what I mean). They also tend to think with their lesser head.
Don't worry, this changes; men do actually mature. Some slower than others, but eventually, you know. And there really is hope for finding someone. A lot of men are able to look past physical appearances. Myself, for example, while I do not deny that more attractive women catch my eye far quicker than less attractive ones, there are a few points - if her smile is not genuine, her attractiveness instantly goes down; as long as she's healthy, it really doesn't matter whether she's just attractive or a goddess (I'll be honest, I could not be in a serious relationship with a woman if I had no physical attraction to her), and I typically don't prefer a goddess; and while I am interested in a number of women, the only woman I have a well-established interest in (aka, we've been friends for years and I would consider moving beyond friendship) may be "a few extra pounds" (more than I am), but I really don't care.
3) The fact that you've never had a boyfriend means that you've saved yourself a bit of heartache. Really, we're typically not worth it until around 20 anyway. And even then it's hard to find ones that are. And to meet new people, just put yourself in situations to do so. I went to fanime (anime convention) where I could be a complete dork, and get away with it (it was awesome... yet I only freaked out less than 5 people - very disappointing). Maybe you could go to... a billiards hall (if you like pool), a beach, an arcade, just walk around the mall, a coffee shop, or wherever people in your town go to hang out and you would enjoy yourself.
Feel free to ask for more or to IM me (AIM: c0lorlessgreen).
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