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Q: I am 16 and my ex bf, who is bi-polar and is constantly trying to convince me to take him back, won't take the hint. I finally was able to convince him to just be friends and told him that if he couldn't handle being friends then I would never talk to him again. (Which was being very nice, considering he followed me around everywhere I went, pratically stalking me!) When we were dating he always ran off, got drunk, and then couldn't tell me what all happened at the parties he went to. So of course I felt uneasy about his "weekly routine". I told him that if he didn't stop that we would break up. So he swore off drinking (because he obviously couldn't handle it). But not even a week after that he calls me at 4 in the morning, drunk off his ass. I was pissed. Because not only did he promise me that he was going to stop, but I would think that he would care enough about us being together that he would stop. We had been together for almost 7 months and I finally decided to end it. It has been 2 months since I broke up with him and yesterday he told me he was going to a party and he wasn't going to drink. Then he called me today and told me he was so happy because he didn't drink. I was so excited that he was actually trying to sober up. But later tonight he adimitted he had lied to me. He had got piss drunk last night and was 5 shots away from dying. I felt betrayed, lied to, and pissed off, yet I still felt upset for him. Even though we are just friends, I still really care about him and I hate to see him destroy his life like this. He gets so depressed, then he drinks, throws angry fits, runs off, and then shows up hours later acting like nothing happened. I want to help him so bad, because I partially feel like it's my fault because maybe he is acting this way because he feels that I'm not there for him anymore. He has a drinking problem and I know it. Alcoholism runs in his family and everytime I tell him he needs to get help he denies even having a problem. Is there anything I can do to help him? I care about him so damn much and I can't bear to see him do this to himself. I'm so scared I am going to wake up one morning and find out he killed himself, and I was never able to help him. Please help me! I would really appreciate it!
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You alone cannot help him. I would think of getting an adult into this, I good idea is to get someone from his family who was an alocholic and talk to him. You may even have to go as far as to get him to go to rehab.
This isn't your falt and it was pobably a good idea to break up with him but still be friends. This is really hard on you and you can't do this alone.
If you don't want to find him dead then you need to take action. One problem at a time. As soon as he sobers up, then start thing more towards your relationship.
Try looking around for a place in your city/town that helps people with alcoholism. Go on google... etc.
Remeber this is his problem, and he is the only one who can sober up - although you can be a big infulence to help him stop.
good luck
~kooka
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Thanks so much for your advice. It was very helpful. ~Sherah
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bio
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I am a 14 year old girl in a big city. I live off other peoples drama so i end up giving alot of advice. Love vargas girls, knitting and many other things. Feel free to write me any time at kooka_burra@hotmail.com
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Info
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E-mail: Gender: Female Location: Toronto Occupation: student Age: 14 Member Since: December 5, 2004 Answers: 114 Last Update: February 21, 2006 Visitors: 12154
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