about

Ok everyone lets keep this simple. My name is Chris, I am an 18 year old guy. I am also a senior in HS. I am a good listener and even better at giving advice because I have had to deal with a lot of adversity. Anyway, so here is my advice column...

advice

I'm a 19/f and about to lose my virginity to my boyfriend 22/f of 1 year. He himself is not a virgin and has had I think it was 3 partners in the past. There have been recent reported cases of HVI infections in our area. Well, I was always taught to treat everyone as if they had the virus because you never know who might actually have it. They probably don't even know. So, as a precaution I want to ask him to get tested. It's not that I don't trust him because I do. If I didn't, I wouldn't lose my virginity to him. I'm just afraid that he'll take it as if I don't trust him. I know it's a smart decision but I just don't know how to approach the subject. And, if he agrees to it then I will go with him and get tested also. Any opinions/advice is appreciated.

Let me just start out by saying I am so glad that you are informed and are firm in not losing your virginity until he has been tested. As a guy I totally respect a girl who is that intelligent and firm in her beliefs. This whole thing isn't an issue of trust, its you being concerned for your health and his health. Tell him that. Plus many people go for YEARS being healthy and perfectly fine with HIV and they don't even know it. Sit down and tell him it straight, you love him and care about him and for both of your health you want to be tested for HIV. I know you’re a virgin but as a gesture of good faith offer to be tested as well. Being tested can put his mind at ease and you’re not asking him anything your not willing to do yourself. Its just so your negative results can be down on paper that you don't have it, its undeniable proof. When he gets his results back, ask to see the results on paper and show him yours. With the results (that you have seen with your own eyes) you two can be happy together knowing that your in love and healthy. And that... is a beautiful thing. :)

By the way, I am sure you already know this. But don’t forget the condom. Its not only to prevent pregnancy and HIV (its not 100% protection, as I am sure you know) but a condom also helps protect you from getting other STDs (many of which he may not know he has). It’s also just a healthy thing to do. Not to make light of the situation but, this is something funny a friend of mine told me his girlfriend said to him before they had sex. Just tell your boyfriend (once you get the negative HIV results back) “Nothing without a raincoat gets in, just incase things get wet.”

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(Rating: 5) Thanks and I said in my question that if he agrees to it then I'll also get tested :)
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