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March 14, 2004Answers:
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What's up? Well, I'm sure like each and every other advice columnist is that, we all enjoy giving advice . I like to keep things real and you'll find out how real when you ask me a question . I absolutely love helping people . Hollah at me sometimes !!! Oh, and yahoo me . Goodness sakes knows that I could do with the mail.
advice
My dad has a substance abuse problem. But he won't admit it. In fact, he lies about it and says he doesn't do anything! My dad uses chewing tobacco. That's not TOO bad, but he swallows it. And he goes through a can in a day and a half. If you're familiar, chewing tobacco (Copenhagen) is just as expensive as a pack of cigarettes. My family lives on a farm, we have farm animals, and we're not rich. We don't have the extra pocket money to buy things like tobacco. I've tried to get my dad to stop. Not only is it irritating that he lies and says he doesn't use tobacco, he's putting his health in danger. My family wouldn't be able to make it if he were to die – we'd have no source of income. I've tried talking to my dad, I've tried talking to my mom, I've tried throwing the junk away when I find it... I've written letters to my dad etc, etc. Last night, I found a BUNCH of his Copenhagen hidden in his boat. (No, I wasn't looking for it; I was taking care of the rabbits – which sit on the boat) I opened all the cans of tobacco and put duck, fish and rabbit food in the tobacco. This morning, all of the cans had been thrown away. I don't know what else to do! I can't keep searching for tobacco and putting duck food in it! He denies that he uses tobacco and my mom can't do anything about it. He's probably mad at me because I put duck food in his tobacco (I'm the only one who would do something like that) ... what do I do now? It really scares me that he's doing this. I don't want to lose my dad.
Your dad doesn't want to change . Like someone in my family doesn't want to. But you know some men are really stubborn and they don't really change their minds once they have them made up. So what you have to do is decide whether this is worth losing your dad over. I know that you really are worried and I see why. But it really all comes down to the fact that it's his life and whatever he chooses to do is of his own business. No matter how dramatic the effect is on your family. I'm not of course saying to be okay with what he's doing, I'm just trying to tell you to decide what's more important and what do you want that's best for you, your dad, and possibly your family. I hope I was some help and have a lovely day.
(Rating: 3) I guess... but I need him. You don't know my background... yeah, it's not pretty. I need my dad.