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when i was born i lived with my grandparents becasue my mom had a bad life. she sold drugs and lived in alot of places wich we not suitable for kids. and so when i was 2 my mom came to my house drunk and kidnapped me. my grandma didnt try to get me beacue my mom was way stronger then her and so she just let me go. * i dont live with my dad becasue when i was born i was a mistiake and my dad is a player* so my mom went to jail and some lady returnded me when my mom was gone *but now me and my mom are okay* . and so when i was 4 it was the FIRST time i ever saw my dad but i couldnt really see him becasue it was like 10 o clock at night and he didnt want to come inside. and after that visit from when i was 4 i counted the days weeks months hours years miutes and seconds from the last time i saw my father. and finally i saw my dad again when i was 10 and he expected me to act like nothing happened and he was like all can i have a hug blah blah blah and my grandpa told him that if he wanted to come that day he just cant leave me again and yes he did.. he didnt come back and i didnt hear from him or anything and im 13 and i havent heard from him in 3 years but its not like i want to or anything. i just have mixed emotions. and im the "tough" one at my school because i dont open up or talk about my feelings. well at night i dream about me and my sister haveing this "Perfect" family with my mom and my dad but then something happends to me and my dream shows a picture of my dad getting killed and my mom dying ( my sister has a different dad and i have like 3 other sisters that have different moms and i dont even know them) but after my dream i wake up with tears in my eyes and me all sweaty. but heres the thing.. i want my life to be good. but i dont want anything to do with my dad and my dad is gonna try and talk to me over the summer and my other grandmaw too but i just dont want to be a part of them. my questions are.. how can i tell them i dont want anything to do with them. and what do i do about these dreams, and how can i open up and talk about my feelings

sorry its long but ill rate 5's to any good answer

ok first off i want to say sorry about all the things that have happened to you at such a young life. i went though some bad things when i was younger to. no one deserves to go threw those things.
so about the whole thing with never wanting to talk to your dad. i dont think your dad has been the best person to you and he has made bad decsions but he is trying and i think you should give him another chance. tell him if he wants to see you he has to stay and he cant leave you and if he does again then kick him out of your life.
about the drems im not realy sure what to do. maybe see a shrink and talk about your feelings to them it might seem hard at first but it gets easier tust me.
hope i could help and everything gets better.

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