about

this name is old and stupid....well first off my name is stephanie.dont judge me before you know me.im pretty nice.i like meeting new people,so im open to friends, but im extremely shy, so yeah. i dont give that good of advice so i'll help you as much as i can












advice

I am a gay male in my 30’s, and have been in a loving, committed relationship with another male since I was 18 years old. I plan on being with this man for the rest of my life.
This year marks the 10th Anniversary of my "coming out" to my parents. Back then, my relationship with my boyfriend was already in its 5th or 6th year, and it saddened me that I could not share its joy with my mother and father for whom I loved dearly. My honesty had brought me close to them again, and their acceptance has been a true blessing. I am grateful, for I know many others whose stories are not so lucky.
But this is not why I write.
My question has to do with my father. He does not judge me for being gay. He is very proud of his tolerance, and we have had many open and frank conversations about homophobia and my experiences with homophobia.
My problem is although he is not critical or judgmental about my lifestyle, he is overly critical and judgmental about every other aspect of my life. My job, my car, my driving, my diet, my finances, my clothes, my speech, my hair, my skin, my schedule, my everything are open territory to his persistent nagging. A thirty minute phone call with him can set me into a depression for a week. It would be easier if he hated me for being gay.
I often ask him questions about life and the lessons he has learned, but he replies with mean, personal attacks on my character. I am a very successful man in my field, and I feel his concerns are unwarranted. I have frequently told him as such.
Today, I feel I am fed up with trying to make him happy. During the holidays, he made me miserable because I did not live up to his regimented expectations. When the slightest thing is not perfect in my life, I cannot be honest with him and dishonesty is what I ran from 10 years ago. I fear his lectures, and I am starting to lie to him again. I love him because he is my father, but I do not like him.
He is so proud that he is man enough not to judge his son for being gay. Believe me, I am thankful. But, how do I get him to not judge me for being HUMAN?



for the added info. you shouldnt walk away like you said.you have to face it tell him how you feel and that you are who you are and he shouldnt be telling you this stuff he needs to see things in your point of view.talk to him.

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(Rating: 5) Thanks for the advice and taking the time to understand.
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