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I hate life like you wouldnt even believe. My dad left when i was a baby and my mom is on meds and living with a bf or maybe just some guy she has sex with and so ever since i was young i have been forced to live with my grandmother. My mom and aunt are on meds for depression and stress and they both claim its cuz of my gma which doesnt surprise me cuz she makes me insane, i wish i was dead like every 20 seconds. ever since i had sex she has been talking about eh guy for ever and its really hard for me cuz i really like him and she is the reasion why we are not together and all she ever does is tell me how worthless i am and how im stupid and how the only job i will get is selling my self even tho my grades are ABBBCC and she tells me that i am really low and just basicall puts me down every chance she gets. and i believe that is why i have no self confidence what so ever. and i believe that is why i had sex with my bf because he was the only guy who ever made me feel special and beautiful. but thats besides the point. everyday she reminds me of my mistakes and its getting old and i just want to shoot my self so i have been drinking and taking pills to make me feel alright and what not and well my question is this what can i do so i dont feel like shit 24/7? just a second ago i was going to go out cuz one of my friedns called me and she said oh you look easy enough, so how manny boys do you think you are going to fuck and so i riped my shirt and threw it at her adn said 100 get in line bi***

any ideas or insight would be much appreciated

thank you

I really believe you should get help, you should not be told you are worthless! Im a Christian, and you might think im crazy... but I truely think this advise will help! You were put on this earth for a reason! Do you have ANY friend that go to church? I really suggest you go to church, or talk to a counsoler at school, you really need someone to talk to right now. Drinking and taking pills will not help anything, and i hope you dont take that as offensive, i am just concerned! Stright Way is a great program that help people with problems like yours, they are teenagers and young adults who have been through times like these. I really think you should email them at: info@straightway.org and you can visit there website: www.straightway.org

remember "its just the weather, it wont last forever" you can really pull through, you just need to put your heart into it! I will be praying for you, I DO NOT think you are worthless in any way!

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