My mother's speech on my wedding day, "...my daughter is wise beyond her years, and has been more of a mother to me than I have to her..."
It was a touching moment for me, and a realisation that she was probably right.
I'm 28 yrs old, and helping people is the most rewarding feeling for me.
I have had my share of downs, and lived to tell the tale. Amongst just some of the hurdles I faced in my life: my attempted suicide, harrased by my fathers ex lover for 2 years, my father's many affairs (at least 6), my mother's breakdown which left me to fend for myself as a 14 year old along with my 3 month old sister at the time. Seeing my friend murdered, having aother friend commit suicide, disovering 4 new half brothers and sisters.
After everything life threw at me, I have managed to come out a stronger person, and much much wiser. Sometimes the going get's rough and I feel helpless and frustrated, but I always bounce back.
I'm here to give advice as best I can, and pride myself on having always given fair, and objective advice - even when it was to very close friends, and my advice wasn't in their favor.
Gender: Female
Location: Johannesburg, South Africa
Occupation: Personal Assitant, wife & stepmom
Age: 28
Member Since: October 27, 2004
Answers: 17
Last Update: December 2, 2004
Visitors: 3061
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HI,
I have a situation. I have been involved with this guy for close to a month.. We talk on the phone alot, and just recently we met up.. I met him through some desi personal site. Things were going great until after we met up.. I don't hear as much from him, I dont even get a comment regarding our meeting and when he does call he acts strange towards me. I have asked him whats going on... and he tells me nothing. then later on I ask him to be straight up with me.. and he tells me that he likes me alot... but he doesnt know if he can eventually marry me in the end.. You see he is Hindu Bengali and Hindu Punjabi. He says that he has hurt his family before with a previous relationship that lasted 7 years and he doesn't want to hurt them again. But he also says that he wants to continue this relationship regardless if it happens so that he cannot marry me.. What do I do? All my life I have been in relationships where guys have said the exact same thing to m e.. and I've continued with the relationship.. just because for me its hard to find someone that actually likes me. Should I continue this relationship with him? or let him go.. I am so confused and frustrated...
Help Pls
-ss
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Confused? All you need to do is look within yourself!
Firstly, what do YOU want out of a relationship. Go on... ask yourself. And make a list, even if it means writing it down.
Then check your list. Can this man give you what you want out of a relationship? From what you have said it doesn't sound like it.
You want more than he can give you. You want to get married, right? So you should consider whether you really want to waste your time with someone like this.
If all you want is a casual relationship, or even just a friendship, then continue seeing him. But you said you like him very much? Break ties now, while it is still just like and not love. Besides, he has enough issues of his own which he needs to deal with. When he is ready to commit to someone he will.
Secondly, you souldn't be looking for someone that likes you. This is probably why you have continued in relationships, which have not ended the way you planned.
Love just happens. You can't go out looking for it, nor can you sit waiting for it to happen. You need to carry on with YOUR life. Find a hobby, get a penpal and make new friends. You first need to be happy on your own, and happy with yourself before you can be happy with someone else. And don't despair, some of the most beautiful romances have blossomed from friendships.
Darling, as the old saying goes...if you love someone set them free, if he come back it was meant to be, and if he doesn't it was never meant to be.
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Rating: 5
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Thank you for your advice. I appreciate it.
-ss
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