No Nonsense:
I will not try to make you feel better. I will not consider your feelings. I will not tell you what you want to hear, unless what you want to hear is the truth. I will tell you like it is and if you can be objective it just might help.
P.S. If you think I'm wrong you need a second opinion.
Gender: Male
Location: Eugene
Occupation: Social Worker
Age: 25
Member Since: September 3, 2004
Answers: 11
Last Update: September 30, 2004
Visitors: 2919
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This is a bit of a hot-button topic and I want everyone to know that I understand extreme responses, but I am asking here in the spirit of recieving support and suggestions. I'm interested in the practicalities of your opinions, here, not simply upon recieving judgement. PLEASE show some compassion and kindness.
So here's the deal: Next week I'm taking a plane flight to Scotland to marry my partner of 6 years. We have a very strong relationship. However, I feel I have very little on the level of practical support to offer in the relationship -- such as a finished education, a job, general income, etc. This relationship is my priority at all times and I will not compromise it for anything.
Recently, I was looking through job offers in a local paper and found an ad for escorts, offering daily cash, a safe environment, and training. According to the person running this service, an escort can make $10,000 a week -- with such an income, I could not only prepare MYSELF for travel, but I could help my incapacitated father a $1000 root canal on his last working tooth (his densures don't work for chewing), I could pay off ALL my college debts, and I could move on with my life.
However, I know that there are many negative aspects to consider in the world of escorting: disease, stigma, relationship integrity, and legality, as well as personal spiritual health & self-image.
If I lived in a world that had none of the above negative factors, I'd be all over the opportunity! Unfortunately, such a world doesn't exist, and I'm here asking you for alternate ideas, suggestions, anything really.
I'm stuck between my debts, my desire to contribute & not be dependent, my sense of responsibility, my feelings of inadequacy and desperation, and a general feeling that escorting is not something I should do, due to the risks. Help? (link)
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Let's break down your dilema.
You want money (the reason is not important as the importance of money to the individual varies depending upon their individual issues)
You identifed that sex is a way that you can make a lot of money fast.
You also identified that if it had no drawbacks you would go through with it.
The problem is that you've accumulated debts, and now you want the instant gratification of having them gone by looking for a quick fix.
The issue is instant gratification. You can get to where you want to be by working at it methodically and sticking to a plan (very hard to do). Or you can sell yourself out and get the quick fix. Typically no matter how you look at it the quick fix is rarely met through legitimate means.
I'm guessing there are other avenues of your life that may need to be examined, that you didn't share in your short message, but with what you gave I can sense you're looking for someone to talk you into escorting rather than talk you out of it.
Debts are monetary and emotions are permanent effected by our actions. Debts are an extension of who we are they do not make up our emotional being. Therefore I think you need to re-prioritize what is important to you and if you cannot I'd recommend you embrace the fact you want everything solved right away.
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Rating: 2
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This seems like well enough reasoned response, but can't really be classed as "advice" as it gives me nothing productive to work from. If you'd expanded more on the "working at it methodically and sticking to a plan" point, it probably would have been a 4 rating, at least. Instead it seems to have become a showcase for your reaction.
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