I'm a 38 year old psychologist living in Nashville, Tennessee. Until shortly over a year ago, I hosted a radio/tv talk show. At the moment, I'm amid plans to start a new one called, " One Man's Opinion". It's a radio show FOR women, ABOUT men, BY a man.
Seeing that alot of issues are age-related, please state your age when posing a question.
E-mail: cmclinphd@hotmail.com
Gender: Male
Location: Nashville, Tennessee
Occupation: Psychologist
Age: 38
Member Since: November 30, 2003
Answers: 349
Last Update: September 15, 2009
Visitors: 29148
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I am seeing a new man, (Goerge) He is Latino . I am Black and Latino.
I am not sure if he and I are understanding each other at all? Or if I am reading him correctly? Honestly I am very, very confused.
He is manly and a hard worker,The sex is pretty great. I like him! but, I am not sure what message he is trying to get across to me? I have a few theories but I will ask you for your advice and see what you think about it?
First let's just start off by saying that I am a Black/Latino woman who loves Rock metallica.
I also love Alot of R&B. However I have a 3 year old daughter, and I tend to notice that videos which are hip hop tend to show case scantily clothed woman, and I don't feel are a good example for my daughter. So she is not allowed to watch much TV and no videos< instead I have her reading and just being a kid.
Also, I am very active in Both my communities, Black and Latino, I consider myself to be very proud of my ancestory. Although I don't speak Spanish, I study alot about the Spanish Puerto Rican Culture as a whole.
Furthermore,I am an artistic person. And I love art in general.All types of music and the such.
Basically I told Goerge that I love Rock, Alternative and Metallica, I also used to live on the West Coast, however I NOW live in the North East I don't like the North East as much, especially where I live now. BUt I have no choice right now to move.
Also,basically I am a Sci fi Vampire film fan, and that is the type of music I enjoy listening too as well. Well, Goerge constantly calls me a "white Girl" He says I am a "sell out" Simply because I don't like the east coast as much as the West Coast, I think this is very childish for him to think like this? I was born in NY City. And I never liked it there when I lived there in NY, and somehow, I ended up enjoying the West Coast alot more. I'll admit, that I often call myself a "WEST coaster", because I lived there a long time, and well somehow Goerge believes that I am ashamed of the fact that I was born in NY? Which I am not?!!!But I refuse to justify my beliefs and my tastes. It's simple, I just never like NY as much as the West Coast.
Even on matters which we may be joking around about, I tried being a good sport so to speak, about the "white Girl" Comments,and even going along with some of his insensitive comments..
Over all he comes off as a very close minded insecure person? Yet I am not sure if his complaints come from his heart? Or is he simply trying to piss me off? so that I will break it off with him? That way he does not have to do the dirty work of breaking it off with me?
Anyway< He always takes my every response or retalitory remark, as an insult to HIM personally!? lately more than before now? He acts totally hypocritical, and even when he realizes that I am striking back with similiar derogatory remarks. It's becoming a competition now, And it's childish. I feel like am starting to act as childish as he is!!
When we first met, I told him all about my interests. We are both grown people in our early 30's and I thought he would be an open minded person, like myself. When I first met him, He acted like he was an open minded person?, 3 weeks later now, and Lately all he does is complain about all my little so called flaws? and (HE claims) my so called "lack of interest in being a Puerto Rican?" I don't have a lack of interest with my culture, That was an absurd statement for him to make! in fact,I love my culture! But I don't feel I have to stay in a little box? I feel that I have the right to explore, other concepts and cultures as well.I try to explain to him, that I was not raised by the Puerto Rican side of my family, I never had a Puerto Rican lifestyle. But that does not mean that I don't have an interest in my cultures.
I'd also like to mention that (Goerge) He claims, that I am looking at other men all the time, when we are driving together. (Which I am NOT!!) I'm sick of the untruthful accusations. If I even move my eyes around to politely notice someone in my view, Goerge claims I am looking at some dude? and so called "disrespecting" him?
Then he will spit out ruthless comments about how I am not raising or discipling my daughter the right way. Even though she is a pretty typical 3 year old. He just comes off with this over all superiority attitude towards me? I am sure I have made mistakes with my daughter, I am not perfect but I try my best!, I am a single parent. Goerge only gets his son on the weekends, so he never really raised his son full time like I've raised my daughter.
He has a 10 year old son who is spoiled, does not clean up after himself, doesnt say please, thankyou or excuse me? And Goerge never corrects his son? YEt, he believes he has a right to comment about some common 3 year old misbehavior on my daughter part? I never say anything about his spoiled 10 year old, who watches sexy videos and goes to bed when he wants to, everynight?
He doesnt discipline his OWN son!!!, yet I never comment on it? His son is just plain anti sociable and rude, and lazy to boot.
Furthermore (goerge) He never had a problem with the fact that I rarely listen to Salsa music, he also knew that I didnt speak Spanish all that well.Yet he still pursued me for his girlfriend.
I have taken plenty of Spanish, but i still don't speak it fluently. However I am learning by listening to his family.
He can be pretty judgemental to my face. Just commenting about stuff he has no real right to comment about? He acts like my daughter is supposed to be perfect? It really annoys me.
Cause his son is so rude and immature for his age.
I am not sure what to do, because the flip side of this whole ordeal is that he can be so sweet, and loving and concerned. He is generous, and DOES manage to treat me like a complete lady.
He is employed, responsible.
He is not the most informed,educated parent, although he is a very GOOD Dad.
I don't want to marry him, or even think about long term. But I find myself still drawn to him, And wanting to be with him.
I don't know what to do? And it's just bothering me.
Can you help?
Do SOME guys act like this, when they are trying to dump a girl? meaning: Complain? And if so, Why can't some men be more direct like alot of us women are? We just say "it's over" and move on.
I didnt want to break it off with him? But if this continues I will feel like I have to? I'm sort of emotionally into him because we have been intimate alot. He says I am the only woman in his eyes, then he contradicts his words with his poor actions.
Does he really want me to get pissed off and break up with him?
IS this what Goerge REALLY wants?
Thanks for any help you can give to me.
Uncanny
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My God! To be real, querida, what's it going to take? Does he have to hit you over the head with a load of bricks to get you to realize exactly what he's doing and who he is. You say he's concerned, loving and so forth. I, and I'm sure on some deeper level you'd care not look at, you know better. He's mean, arrgant, patronizing and EXTREMELY insecure. he doesn't like himself so he wonders how could anyone else like him. Not wanting to correct whet HE sees in himself, he makes himself feel better by making you feel worse. I understand your east/west sentiment. New York is not for everyone, and apparently, it's not for you. Does that mean you'll burn in hell for all eternity? No, it means that you have a different slant on things, THATS ALL. And you know what? He knows that, too. As for you selling out, being ashamed, and the myriad of other things he says "jokingly", he wants you to be who he wants, not who you want, and Im sorry, no one is that important. You say you're emotionally into him because youve been intimate alot. That's weak and I know you know it. Youre afraid to be alone. For however long it may take, it's easier and more comfortable to stay with who you're with, that to go out, meet someone, learn them, their likes, dislikes, and have them learn yours, and go through the entire dance again, and thats the bottom line. I think you're a verty sweet young lady. Youd have to be to try and justify that which he has done, but I know you know what you need to do. You're just looking for someone else to tell you that it's ok. If thats the case, I'm saying it. Run.....and run fast. "George" is interested in nothing he cant control, and he's getting very close to having you in that position. For your daughter, dont do it. Get away, find someone who truly deserves you. He's out there, trust me. Best wishes, hon.
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Thank you for your advice I really believe you hit the nail on the head YOu are correct! I have been lonely, to be honest. My child's father is incarcerated So it has been tough being a single Mom. I tend to get into these "toxic" He does like to put me down. He even said that his ex is prettier than I am? I was furious, because i feel that he tries to keep me in my place? He will say these mean things and then be overly jealous, asking me questions such as, "how many guys flirted with you today?" He is so jealous somedays. I can't believe. Honestly I can't even look around without him thinking that I am looking at other men?
But then he puts me down and turns me off.
He says things to make me feel small and maybe he thinks that i will begin to think less of myself? He must think that I will stay with him because I think less of myself? Just so you know, I am grateful for your advice, and I plan to break it off with him today.
I had another question I am also interested in a career in Broadcasting. I don't want to give up on my dream. I am already in my early 30's. Can you give me some advice? I live on the Shore line in Connecticut State. I am offered some opportunities to break into the biz. But what should I do? DId you like working for a radio station? And what was it like? What are some of the things you needed to know? Anything you can tell me would be greatly appreciated.
God Bless.
Uncanny
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