When browsing through this surprisingly interesting site, a rather sad fact was brought to my attention: I could not find one comment, question, or otherwise significantly sized statement written by a user in which any of the basic rules of grammar and word placement were properly utilized. I was suddenly compelled, in a lightening-like flash to become the only bitter and or cynical advisor who had a justifiable reason to be cocky and detached. And then, in an instant, I tripped over a radioactive bucket of waste that may have been a friend of mine and became ‘Angst Ridden Teen Who is Conveniently Masked by The Internet’! Now equipped with super bitchifying glowing lasso action!
Gender: Female
Member Since: July 11, 2004
Answers: 47
Last Update: July 27, 2004
Visitors: 3454
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Anna Joe
The kid no one really knows
Just sat
She was kind of fat
Every day people would critize
About her size
I was the only one who heard her crys
Her endless sighs
I never knew
What she was about to do
It was a misty Monday
I wish she found have found another way
We walked in
Right before she commited her sin
They laughed at her and called her fat
And there I sat
Wanting it to stop
I could have fought
Before I could think
In just one blink
She reached in her shirt
Everyone screamed as shots beamed
Up and down each row
Then it came to me and she said no
I was in shock
Then came a knock
Hurried,
In her head
There everyone sat dead
I burst in tears
Because I had no more peers
I could have stopped this all
I heard voices down the hall
Terrified yells
And there i was
Just because
I did'nt call her fat....
But I just sat
I let her cry,
wanting to die
And it just might be
Because of me
Everyones dead
And poor Anna shot herself in the head
www.poetrypoems.com/bleedingeverywhere give me feedback on my site and dont try to copy and paste cuz these are published
(link)
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Honestly it sounds like you stole Jeremy's story, for one. It has a nice rhythm but definitely needs work, mostly in the area of syllable flow and vocabulary. I'd revamp it and post again if I had written it, because it's just not Quite right.
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Rating: 1
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What i wrote that poems by myself and i didnt steal anyones shit soo yea w/e
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