I'm a 38 year old psychologist living in Nashville, Tennessee. Until shortly over a year ago, I hosted a radio/tv talk show. At the moment, I'm amid plans to start a new one called, " One Man's Opinion". It's a radio show FOR women, ABOUT men, BY a man.
Seeing that alot of issues are age-related, please state your age when posing a question.
E-mail: cmclinphd@hotmail.com
Gender: Male
Location: Nashville, Tennessee
Occupation: Psychologist
Age: 38
Member Since: November 30, 2003
Answers: 349
Last Update: September 15, 2009
Visitors: 29143
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Okay, here's the situation. The guy who spends all the time with the girl I have an enormous crush on is getting a little obsessed. It's gotten to the point where he calls 6 times a day, sometimes at 3 in the morning. She was complaining about it to me, and I wasn't sure what to tell her. All I could think of to say was that she should tell him to stop calling so much. It got a little awkward because right when she started to talk about this he walked in the door. I'm still unsure how she feels. I'm not sure if she still wants to be friends with him, if she wants to date him and is just blowing off some steam, or what. They still spend an enormous amount of time together, and she doesn't seem to mind too much. I have no idea what they do together. She's too nice to tell him to stop calling directly. So what should I tell her? And I know it's probably none of my business, so I'm wondering if I should tell her anything, or if I should just let her figure out what to do on her own. I'm trying to see her situation clearly, but my jealousy gets in the way. Please give me your thoughts. (link)
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First, I think it IS your business, ONLY because she asked you for your opinion. That invited you into the scene.
You say that you're not sure what she wants to do, and before I could give my opinion on what I think you should do, I would suggest you find that out first. With your jealousy tainting things from your perspective, you may take an action that she really didn't want, only because secretly, you wished to see the dissolution of the relationship. Then, not only have you hindered one relationship, but yours with her, as well.
Talk to her a little more, see exactly what she wants from him. Is it just to stop calling so much. Is it to stop all together? And then ask HER what it is she would like you to do. That way you can never go wrong, at least not in the choice you make. Let me know how this one turns out.
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Rating: 5
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It turns out they are dating now (She has a nasty habbit of not keeping me up to date, probably trying to protect my feelings but instead making me feel worse by forcing me to find out for myself). I figured they would eventually, but I guess you never can prepair yourself for that day can you? She already told him off,and is feeling bad about it. I told her not to. She is a completely closed book, even if I ask her what she wants, she wouldn't tell me. i think I'll just back out of this while I still have some thread of dignity, and let her settle her lovers' spouts alone. I'll just let her call me if she wants to do something, maybe not seeing her will help me get over her.
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