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Hey adivce culumnists. I have a Question I write poetry and am wondering what you think of this? The last poem an this question is published by eternal portraits. I really don't get support with poetry.
I have three poems I want you to look at and tell me what you think.It would mean alot to me! Thanx!
What A Wonderful Life
As a young girl lays in bed one night.
She thinks of her life happenings.
She thinks of the smiles.
She thinks of the frowns.
She thinks of the tears that have been shed.
She thinks of the feelings of having her heart broken.
She thinks of the feelings of having her heart mended.
She thinks of all the people she knows and smiles.
What a Wonderful Life!
The Song Of Spring
Spring come to me Please don't leave me here alone!
Bring to me the song of Spring
Bring to me the Tulips and Daffodils.
Bring to me the Blue Blue sky and Green Green grass.
Bring to me the chirpping birds and the Buzzz of the Bees.
Please don't leave me here!
I'm tired of the gloom and doom!
No more cold cold days
No more fog to to see!
Leave the rain and wind behind!
Bring to me the song of Spring
Lord I Wonder?
Lord I wonder why I feel alone?
I know thou watchest over me.
I know thou watchest me come closer too thee.
I know thou watchest me go a stray from thee.
I know thou lovest me, then why do I a stray from thee?
I lovest thee, thy Lord then why do I 'cause thee pain?
I thank thee Lord for loving me, I thank thee Lord.
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Yeah, the first is pretty bad. It's very hallmark-like, as someone has said. The second one seems immature, as if a 6 year old had written it. I do not believe in God, and therefore do not like the third either. Perhaps you could read some good poems and search within yourself for more substance for your poems. When you have done that, they will probably be better.
ALSO: I have looked through the reviews you have given people for adivce, and the people who were honest didn't get anything- you weren't looking for adivce, just a boost to your ego.
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Rating: 1
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very good advice. maybe a litle TOO blunt but very honest.
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